Never Let You Go
by BeAuTiFuL mAdDnEsS
Summary: Kirsten has just been released from rehab. Instead of returning home, Kirsten stays with her friend, Charlotte, until an unwelcome guest forces her to leave but has no intention of leaving Kirsten alone. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. or its characters**

**Note: This story overlooks the whole Marissa shooting Trey thing.**

Sandy looked at Kirsten; his face a mixture of shock and disappointment. Just a minute ago, Kirsten had told him she was being released from rehab the next day and he'd been over the moon. That happiness had quickly been zapped away as Kirsten told Sandy she'd be staying with Charlotte-a friend from rehab.

Kirsten's heart gave a stab of guilt at the expression on Sandy's face. She had to let him know it wasn't what he thought-she loved him more than anything.

"Why?" Sandy asked simply.

"Sandy, I love you more than anything," Kirsten declared, taking his hand in hers. "And the boys. That's why I'm doing this. I won't allow myself to let you all down anymore. I need to take this time to make sure I can trust myself again before I let you and the boys trust me again."

Sandy played with Kirsten's fingers, his logical side seeing the sense in what she was saying, his emotional side declaring that enough time had been taken-she'd been in rehab for nearly two months. Home-nothing-was the same without her.

"And I need to learn to stand on my own two feet again," Kirsten concluded.

"But…can Charlotte be trusted?" Sandy asked. "You haven't known her for long. For all we know, she could be a serial killer."

"Charlotte is not a serial killer," Kirsten smiled.

"How long will you need?" Sandy asked.

"I don't know," Kirsten replied. "It won't be as long as I've been here for. Not even half of the time."

Sandy sighed. Kirsten knew what she was doing and she was doing it for the right reasons. That meant there was no point in trying to talk her out of it.

As Sandy slipped his arm around her, Kirsten leant her head on his shoulder, wondering if he knew this was hurting her as much as it was him. There was nothing she wanted more than to go home but until she knew how she'd go out of rehab, she couldn't let herself. Sandy's gesture obviously indicated that he understood her having to do this.

"Thank you," Kirsten said quietly. "I'll call the boys and tell them after you've left."

"Just know that I love you," Sandy told her. "And that won't ever change."

"I love you, too," Kirsten said with a smile. It was amazing how those three words said by Sandy could change her mood. Anytime Kirsten was down or frustrated during her stay in rehab, all she had to do was call Sandy. As soon as he'd say those words, she'd instantly find the happiness and motivation she needed to get through.

Sandy leaned in and kissed Kirsten, reinforcing just how far their relationship had come along. To say that their relationship had been rocky when Kirsten had arrived at rehab was something of an understatement. Through determination, hard work and help, they'd managed to bring back the communication. Clichéd as it sounded, their relationship was now practically as good as new.

"Will you still call me every day?" Kirsten asked, closing her eyes and leaning against Sandy.

"Of course," Sandy promised. "And the second you're ready to come home, will you call me?"

"I will," Kirsten stated.

"Does Charlotte live far away from us?" Sandy asked, wanting to know in case he had to race over there for an emergency.

"About half an hour," Kirsten told him.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Sandy asked. "What if something happens?"

"I know how to dial 911," Kirsten assured him. "I'll be fine."

"Can I visit you?" Sandy asked. He could come around frequently-check on her and try to persuade her to come home.

"Yeah," decided Kirsten. "I'd like that."

"And you're sure about this?" Sandy double-checked.

"Positive," said Kirsten.

Visiting hours had ended a few minutes ago but neither of them wanted to acknowledge that fact. Sandy didn't like the thought of leaving Kirsten alone in that room and Kirsten didn't like the thought of being alone. They sat holding each other in silence.

"I should go now," said Sandy, unconvincingly.

Kirsten took his face in her hands and kissed him-a succession of pecks, not wanting to let him go. Sandy tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her into him and deepening the kiss.

"Do you have to?" Kirsten asked, pulling her face away just enough to say those words in-between kisses.

"We could wait until they kick me out," Sandy suggested, kissing down Kirsten's neck.

"Like they did last time," Kirsten remembered, closing her eyes. "And the time before that…and pretty much every visit you made."

"Why break the trend?" Sandy asked, working his way back up to Kirsten's lips.

Their lips met again and Sandy pulled Kirsten down on to the bed on top of him.

A knock on the door sounded and Kirsten buried her head in Sandy's chest, wishing they would leave.

"Sandy, you need to leave now," came the voice of whoever was at the front desk, where the visitor sign-in book was. "Visiting hours ended fifteen minutes ago."

"I'll be out in a minute," Sandy promised them, before returning to Kirsten. "Why does that always happen?"

"Why do they have to keep that book?" Kirsten complained, rolling off Sandy to let him get up.

They walked to the door, and with that the mood changed. They stared at each other, both wanting the same thing for tomorrow; both knowing that it wouldn't happen.

Sandy took Kirsten in his arms and kissed her one last time, never imagining this would be the mood of things the night before Kirsten left rehab.

Kirsten watched as Sandy opened the door and walked down the hall, as she did whenever he left. And, like all other times, she had the urge to run after him and throw herself in his arms. This time, the urge was too strong to resist.

"Sandy!" Kirsten called.

Sandy turned around as Kirsten barrelled down the hall and flew into his arms.

"I love you," Kirsten whispered.

"I love you, too," Sandy said.

* * *

Charlotte swung open the door to her house and walked in with Kirsten in tow.

Trying to get used to rehab was one thing, but trying to get used to a different environment was another. Looking around, Kirsten tightened her grip on her bag. Charlotte had been released a week ago, yet the house already looked like a tornado had hit it. A small pathway on the floor of the living room had been cleared, leading into a narrow, dark hallway Kirsten followed Charlotte into. A damp, mouldy smell hit Kirsten as she paused, trying to adjust to the darker environment. Kirsten froze and gazed-mouth open-at something on the wall.

"What is it?" Charlotte asked turning around, having noticed Kirsten's halt.

"Um…you have a spider, right there," Kirsten declared, pointing to it with her free hand.

"Oh, an arachnophobic," Charlotte analysed. "Name him."

"What?" Kirsten asked, wondering why anyone would name such a repulsive creature.

"Name him. I name mine-they're like my muses," Charlotte explained-Kirsten deciding that there had to be better muses for journalists than spiders. "And maybe it'll even help you overcome your fear."

"Macbeth," Kirsten said, deciding on the name of her least favourite novel she'd been forced to study in school.

"Ooh, dark-I like it," Charlotte said approvingly.

"Okay. He's inspired me now," Kirsten declared. "He's inspired me to vacuum him up."

"Oh, Kirsten, he'll be gone in a few days," Charlotte stated. "We have to make the most of his visit. If you're worried about him crawling into your room and mouth, think of this: the average person will swallow, like, eight spiders. How many people do you hear of who die from that?"

Charlotte took a step towards a door, leaving Kirsten shuddering at that thought, trying not to look at Macbeth and imagine that crawling into her mouth.

"Speaking of rooms, here's yours," Charlotte said, opening a door.

Kirsten looked into a room slightly lighter than the hallway. One side of the room was occupied with a desk, computer and bookcase; the other a folding bed which just fit the length of the room. The middle of the room was a thin, bare strip, just wide enough to fit Kirsten.

"Well, I'll go fix dinner and let you get settled in," Charlotte said, heading out of the room, adding, "You're bag should fit under the bed."

Charlotte left Kirsten in the room, noticing that a non-curtained window was directly above the bed. Typically being sensitive to light, Kirsten decided it would make sleeping interesting.

Kirsten looked around the room, wondering what to do with this new-found freedom, what to do to make sure she could be trusted again. No matter how homey it was at Charlotte's, it was not Kirsten's home. Sandy, Seth and Ryan weren't there, and nothing could make her forget that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. or its characters (except Richard, in this case)**

"So, Kirsten Cohen," Charlotte begun the next evening, laying back on a porch chair sipping a coffee, "how are you finding life outside your Orange County bubble?"

"It's definitely different," Kirsten admitted, remembering waking up that morning half falling out of bed and with a pain in her back. Going out today had been good-she and Charlotte and gone to the local shops and had lunch out before spending the afternoon watching movies. "I'll tell you what, though, it's nice not to be outnumbered by the male vote on what movie to watch."

"That I could imagine," Charlotte laughed. "And what about being out of Suriak?"

"That's weird," Kirsten said quickly. "When you were released…were you worried that you'd, you know, 'revert back to your old ways'?"

"I'll be right back," Charlotte said, jumping up, her long, blonde hair flying behind her.

Kirsten wondered when Sandy would visit. He'd told her the last time she'd seen him that he would, but he'd made no mention of it when he'd called her today. Kirsten knew it wasn't fair to expect him to abandon his work-or her work, as he was looking after the Newport Group for her-and the boys just to come see her, but the other part of her wanted nothing more.

"I was worried," Charlotte said, returning with a bottle of tequila. "Not as worried as you, I think, but I was still worried until I got this."

"Tequila?" Kirsten asked incredulously.

"I look at it if I ever need to remind myself how far I've come," Charlotte explained. "I get tempted sometimes, but not to the point where I'd consider opening this."

"You don't?" Kirsten asked, in admiration.

"No," Charlotte said simply. "You know what, Kirsten, you need to have more faith in yourself. You're not weak at all. Repeat after me: I am an amazing woman who is strong enough to overcome all temptations."

"You got that from rehab," Kirsten proclaimed before sighing and repeating the mantra.

"Now take the tequila," Charlotte instructed, which Kirsten did, hesitantly. "Now yell at it-I won't let you beat me."

"This wasn't part of rehab," Kirsten declared, observing the tequila. "Yell? What about your neighbours?"

"Oh, they're used to me yelling out obscenities at the computer," Charlotte said, breezily. "Now yell!"

Kirsten stared at the tequila, took a deep breath and yelled, "I won't let you beat me!"

A chorus of "shut ups!" and lights flicking on ensued. Kirsten glanced around mortified, before bursting out laughing.

"Someone's got a good set of lungs," Charlotte stated approvingly. "Now, doesn't that feel better? Don't you feel stronger?"

"I guess so," Kirsten decided, before bursting out laughing again. "You didn't tell me I'd get a train of abuse!"

"You really need to get out of that bubble more," Charlotte said sadly, shaking her head.

* * *

Kirsten was washing up her plate from breakfast the next morning when Charlotte entered, dressed and groomed for the day. Guiltily, Kirsten stared down at her robe and thought of her bed hair, messily pulled back.

"Oh, don't worry," Charlotte said, noticing Kirsten's inspection. "I'm normally in my robe for most of the day. I have to go to therapy and then do grocery shopping, so I'll be back some time this afternoon. If you have any problems with that tap, give it a thump. That usually does it."

Charlotte waved goodbye and breezed through the door in her blithe, carefree way. The tap spluttered and sprayed Kirsten. She stared at it, summoning her anger before hitting it hard. To her surprise, Charlotte's advice worked.

* * *

Two hours later and Kirsten was bored out of her brains. She had scoured Charlotte's house for books (she'd read all of hers in rehab) but found none that interested her. She'd checked her e-mails and come within an inch of cleaning the house. If it wasn't for the fact that Charlotte had firmly told her not to when she'd been caught putting away a book lying on the floor, Charlotte's house would be almost tidy by now.

Finally, Kirsten had decided on watching some tacky, midday movie. Now would have been the best time for Sandy to visit, Kirsten thought, close to giving up on even trying to make sense of the movie.

* * *

Sandy flicked through some papers without really paying attention to a word written on them. Sighing, he set his papers on his desk and placed his head in his hands. For some reason, he just could not focus today.

The fact that Kirsten was out of rehab but not home seemed to be hitting Sandy harder and harder and time progressed. He'd decided to visit her tomorrow; try to talk her into coming home but there was this nagging feeling that pushed for him to visit today.

Sandy knew he was never going to be able to pay attention to work today. There was no point in trying-he'd be better off obeying that nagging feeling and visiting Kirsten.

Grabbing his keys, Sandy gave up on work and left.

* * *

Kirsten jumped awake as a knock sounded on the door, just in time to see the closing credits of that awful movie.

Yawning, Kirsten slowly got up and headed for the front door, wondering who the visitor was. Her optimistic side hoped it was Sandy, surprising her. That idea brought a smile to her face as she opened the door.

The person on the other side could not have been less like Sandy: tall and balding, the man's features seemed anything but in proportion. A large mouth contrasted his small eyes, his nose was slightly crooked and his ears stuck out. Scruffily dressed, Kirsten could not help but feel uncomfortable around him. It was not just the man's appearance, but the dominant, aggressive look expressed through his body and face. This was enough to cause her smile to falter.

"Can I help you?" Kirsten asked, ensuring that there was as little room left as possible between her and the door, so she could shut it quickly if need be.

"Are you Ms. Morgan?" he asked, taking a step towards Kirsten who was certain her heart stopped beating for a second.

"No, I'm afraid Ch-Ms. Morgan can't come to the door at the moment," Kirsten said. "Could I take a message?"

"It's not quite like that. I'm Richard, by the way," Richard introduced himself, holding out a hand which Kirsten hesitantly took.

"Kirsten," Kirsten told him, trying not to notice how firm his handshake was, or the fact that he held on to it for a few seconds too long.

"We're conducting a survey around here," Richard told her, moving closer still. "Hopefully, we'll be able to make a few changes but the participation of everyone is vital."

"If you'd call back, say, tomorrow or in a few hours I'm sure Ms. Morgan would be happy to answer your questions," Kirsten said, uncomfortable at the fact that she could feel Richard's breaths-short and hot-on her, he was standing so close.

"I'm afraid that will be too late," Richard explained. "This is one of our last houses-we have to start looking through the surveys within the next few hours. There isn't anyone inside who could answer? What about you?"

"I've only been here a couple of days," Kirsten reluctantly told him. "I'm only just visiting. You really can't go without answers from just one house?"

"No," Richard said firmly. "In order for this to be of any use, we need answers from a certain number of houses. Perhaps there's a number you could give me that I could reach Ms. Morgan at?"

"I don't know that she'd like me giving out her number," Kirsten replied uneasily, certain that she and Richard were standing maybe a nose width or two apart.

"Please," Richard pleaded in a low voice, "this is for the good of the neighbourhood. This is something Ms. Morgan would benefit from."

Instinctively, Kirsten did not trust this man or any word he said but she was desperate to get him to leave.

"Do you have pen and paper?" Kirsten asked him.

Richard searched his jeans pocket, producing a scrap piece of paper but no pen.

"I don't seem to have a pen on me," Richard told her.

"Hold on," Kirsten said, looking behind her at the hall table. Seeing a pen on the top, Kirsten turned around to grab it but fell, hitting her forehead on the way down, pushed back on the floor.

A pain ensued as Kirsten tried to make sense of what was happening. Richard closed the door behind him and knelt in front of Kirsten.

"You know, you seem a bit reluctant to give me that number," Richard told her quietly. "There is a compromise we could draw."

Kirsten's eyes widened in fear as Richard grabbed her and roughly pulled her up. Kirsten was paralysed with fright. Unsure what to do, she opened her mouth in a gesture to scream but Richard's hand was quickly clamped over it.

"Don't go there," Richard snarled. "If you do what I say, you won't get hurt."

With his other hand, Richard took the back of Kirsten's top and pulled it to read the label.

"Diane von Furstenberg," Richard read. "I thought it was a bit nicer than the average top you see around here."

Richard pushed Kirsten into a wall, his hands either side of her to stop her from escaping.

"You must have a fair bit of money," Richard observed. "The hair-cut, make-up, jeans, jewellery-none of them look cheap."

What did he want? Kirsten wondered, terrified. She glanced down, wishing this whole ordeal was over, only to be met with a stinging slap on the face.

"Answer me!" Richard yelled, holding Kirsten firmly by the wrists now.

"Yes," Kirsten said quietly. "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" Richard asked, releasing one of Kirsten's wrists and tracing her face, pulling her chin up so she had no choice but to look at him. "I want what any man wants but I want my payment in advance."

Kirsten looked at him, into cold unfeeling eyes, praying as his mouth smashed against hers in a rough kiss that something-anything-would save her.

Richard pushed Kirsten in the direction of the hallway.

"Go get your wallet and check book," Richard ordered as Kirsten stood frozen on the spot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. or its characters**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You're feedback has really made my day and I've got a crap week at school with assignments and tests, so it's made it more bearable. (Hint, hint.)**

Sandy pulled up at Charlotte's house. Or, at least he thought it was Charlotte's-there was no number on the letterbox or anywhere for that matter. He checked the address Kirsten had given him: well, he had the right street. And given the fact that next door was Number 17, Sandy was fairly certain this was Number 19. But still; there was no car parked at the front entrance.

He hadn't driven all of this way for nothing, Sandy decided hopping out of the car. And perhaps Kirsten was inside. Sandy walked up to the entrance, pausing to try to find the non-existent house number.

This house was not something he'd expect a Suriak patient to be living at, Sandy observed, noticing the peeling paint on the outside and the overgrown garden. He headed up to the door and had walked up the front steps when a voice floated across to Sandy from inside.

"I told you to get your fucking wallet and check book!" came the man's voice, followed by the sound of someone being hit and a cry.

Sandy's stomach gave a terrible lurch as he recognised Kirsten's cry. Initially pausing with shock, Sandy was soon racing towards the door, his hand shaking praying that it would be open, yet scared of what he might find inside.

Sandy almost passed out with relief as the door handle turned under his clammy hand. Sandy swung open the door, trying to adjust to the darker atmosphere inside.

A man who looked in his late forties turned around and gave hima startled glance.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Sandy yelled, advancing on whoever this man was. All he knew was that he had some serious ass-kicking to do.

Perhaps it was his shaking hands, or perhaps it was the fact that he was still trying to adjust to the darkness but Sandy found himself to be at a disadvantage as the man pushed him against the wall and managed to escape.

Initially tempted to go after him, the sight of Kirsten curled up on the floor erased all thoughts but her from his mind.

"Kirsten, honey, are you okay?" Sandy asked anxiously, bending over her and brushing the hair from her face which sported a developing bruise on her jaw line and a cut on her forehead. Quickly looking around, Sandy noticed blood on the hall table, concluding the cut must have come from there.

Kirsten opened her eyes at the sound of Sandy's voice, still in shock from what had just happened.

"Sandy?" Kirsten whispered in disbelief, scared she was hallucinating.

Sandy took Kirsten in his arms, thanking God he had followed that nagging feeling, and trying not to think of what could have happened if he hadn't of come.

"Look, we need to get out of here," Sandy told Kirsten. "Can you go grab your stuff?"

Kirsten nodded and stood up with the help of Sandy, physically shaking and finding it hard to function normally. Her head was sore and her mind was racing with images of Richard, yet his face was now only an indistinct blur.

Turning around to face him, Kirsten asked in a small voice, "Will you come with me?"

* * *

Sandy looked sideways at Kirsten asleep in the car and sighed. This was about as different as you could get to how he envisioned it would be when Kirsten came home.

After they'd got her bag, Sandy had driven her to the police station to inform them of what had happened. It had been a lengthy process that elicited little-if any-results: Kirsten could only give them a first name and limited physical descriptions. Sandy was of even less help: he had seen the man for maybe five seconds, and Charlotte's house had been quite dark which made it harder to work anything out.

Kirsten had held on to his hand tightly the entire time, but her voice never shook once nor did any tears fall. The minute they had left the station and entered the car; she had fallen asleep.

Sandy hated it when this happened. Kirsten hated people to see her cry or upset in any way. Sandy was only a minor exception to the rule: although she'd let on to him more than anyone else, she still tried to avoid expressing her feelings through crying. The worst part was knowing Kirsten was upset and using sleep as a means of escape.

He couldn't let her go home like this, Sandy decided. Sandy indicated and turned off at the first sign of a town. She needed time to get her head together, and while a night wouldn't make it all better, it would certainly help.

* * *

Kirsten hopped out of the bath in the hotel and changed into her pyjamas and robe. She'd hoped that a bath would fix everything-wash away the remnants of today. It was amazing how your mind would block out someunpleasant memories, Kirsten thought. She couldn't remember what Richard looked like, she couldn't remember falling and cutting her forehead-the whole ordeal just seemed like a blur now. She could, however, remember the coldness of his eyes and the terror of what might happen. Even clearer still was calling Charlotte and breaking the news to her at the police station. Charlotte had flipped, and declared that she would move in with her sister in Canada.

Kirsten took a deep breath and forced any thoughts of today out of her head. There was no point in dwelling on it, she told herself. Today was the start of her new life back with her family.

Walking out of the bathroom, Kirsten smiled at the sight of Sandy lying on the bed watching TV. At least now she could see him every day, and fall asleep next to him. They wouldn't have to miss each other anymore.

"What are you watching?" Kirsten asked, lying next to Sandy on the bed and cuddling into him.

"Over the Top," Sandy replied. "Are you feeling better?"

"Uh huh," Kirsten told him. "Even better still if you'd get rid of that movie. Once a year is more than enough to force me to sit through it-especially considering it's every Christmas."

"Well, what do you propose we do instead?" Sandy asked.

"Change channels," Kirsten suggested. "Order room service."

"Interesting," Sandy said, contemplating the idea before sighing and handing Kirsten the remote. "You don't know how big a sacrifice this is."

A new idea coming to her head, Kirsten took the remote from Sandy and turned off the TV. Kirsten smiled at the confused look on Sandy's face before kissing him.

"What about room service?" Sandy asked, wrapping his arms around Kirsten.

"It's still early," Kirsten whispered into his ear, nibbling it. "We have plenty of time for that."

"Okay," Sandy replied happily, returning Kirsten's kiss.

For the first time in two months, they were alone and uninterrupted.

* * *

Kirsten woke up with a start early the next morning. She was certain she'd been having a nightmare but she couldn't remember what it had beenabout.

For a few moments, Kirsten felt disorientated,struggling to remember where she was: she wasn't at rehab, or Charlotte's, or home. The memories of the previous day slowly returned, living a sinking feeling in Kirsten's stomach, the Richard incident impacting more on her than the night she and Sandy had just spent together.

Prising her eyes open, Kirsten noticed it was still dark-she had a few hours of sleep left. Sliding over, Kirsten gently cuddled into Sandy; trying to avoid waking him. At least she didn't have to sleep alone anymore and rely only on herself when things went wrong.

Despite what had happened, Kirsten couldn't help but smile at the thought that Sandy had known just when to come; just when she needed him. He had been, in this case, her knight in shining armour.

* * *

The first thing Sandy felt when he woke up the next morning was Kirsten's arm around him. This was enough to bring a smile to his face and inspire him to open his eyes.

The first thing Sandy saw when he opened his eyes was Kirsten. This was enough to turn his smile into a grin and wake him up completely.

Having Kirsten back just seemed to make everything right. Having her to fall asleep and wake up next to made facing each day a hell of a lot more enjoyable and made Sandy feel invincible.

Sandy couldn't wait to see the looks on Ryan and Seth's faces when he came home with Kirsten: they'd decided to surprise the boys and Sandy had just told them he would be out and returning some time today. The boys-and Sandy-had missed Kirsten like hell. The house just didn't work without her. Three males under the one roof resulted in chaos, mess and a fair few unidentifiable smells.

Kirsten roused, reluctantly forcing her eyes open, wishing she was still asleep. The sight of Sandy lifted her mood considerably.

"Morning, beautiful," Sandy said, kissing her and bringing a smile to her face. It had been so long since Kirsten had heard Sandy say that.

"Morning," Kirsten said, laying her head on Sandy's chest, wishing they didn't have to move. If it wasn't for the boys and how much she missed them, Kirsten would have suggested they stay at the hotel for a few more days. It just seemed so idyllic and peaceful.

They lay like that for several minutes: Kirsten lying on Sandy's chest, listening to his heart and Sandy stroking her hair, both wishing they could hold on to this moment forever. This, Sandy decided, was how he envisioned it would be when Kirsten came home.

* * *

Kirsten walked along the beach with Sandy, gazing out somewhere at the ocean; a million miles away. Sandy had suggested going for a walk before returning home and Kirsten thought it would be a way to try to keep her mind off the other day. She tried so hard not to think about it, but the events-or what she remembered of them-couldn't help but penetrate her mind. At times, it felt like the entire thing happened so quickly. At others; it was as though it had stretched on for eternity. Kirsten was lucky with her injuries: the bruise was mild and could be covered with some concealer, and the cut on her forehead was small and able to be hid behind hair. From the looks of things, they should be gone within the next week, and Seth and Ryan would never need to know about Richard. The last thing Kirsten wanted to do was worry them.

Sandy watched his wife, in a world of her own. Kirsten had pretty much been like this since breakfast but she hadn't mentioned the events of yesterday once. Sandy wished she would open up. He squeezed her hand, waiting for her to squeeze back as she always did, but this time, there was no response. Kirsten looked as though she hadn't even felt it.

"Hey," Sandy said, "let's sit down."

"Hm?" Kirsten asked, coming out of her trance. "Oh…right. Okay."

Sandy sat down and pulled Kirsten in between his legs, wrapping his arms around her waist. Kirsten lay against Sandy's chest and returned to gazing out at the ocean.

"Do you want to tell me what's on your mind?" Sandy suggested.

"It's nothing," Kirsten lied.

"It seems to be bothering you, this 'nothing'," Sandy pointed out.

"I'm sorry," Kirsten apologised.

"Hey-I'm not asking for an apology," Sandy told her. "I want you to tell me what it is so you can get it off your chest. And maybe I could help then."

"I don't know if you could," Kirsten admitted, shaking her head.

"It's Richard, isn't it?" Sandy asked, feeling Kirsten's body tense at the mention of his name.

"I just can't get it out of my mind," Kirsten explained, quietly. "You know; what I should've done, what I shouldn't have done… It just replays in my head over and over-the entire thing. And I can't stop wondering what might have happened if you hadn't of come. I guess it'll just take time."

"I know," Sandy said, tightening his hold of Kirsten, remembering her recount of events to the police-she'd been able to tell them bits and pieces, but a lot of it she seemed to have forgotten. "There's no point going over the what ifs, but that's easier said than done, right?"

"Yeah," Kirsten agreed. "I'm just glad I have you."

"I'm very glad I have you," Sandy told her. "If I can do anything-tell me."

"You do," Kirsten stated. "You listen to me and you hold me. You make me feel less alone. That's more than anyone's ever done for me."

Sandy kissed the top of Kirsten's head, reinforcing the fact that if it hadn't of been for Sandy's timing, Kirsten would have been far worse off. The tears she'd been trying to suppress for the past day finally won; a stray one slipping out, followed by another one until they were no longer able to be controlled. Sandy held Kirsten as she cried, hating to see her hurting so much yet glad she was finally releasing her emotions. Kirsten held on for dear life to the only man-the only person-she'd ever dared bare her soul to.

**I know that everything was probably tied up quickly in this chapter but this isn't the end of Richard. The next few chapters will be less dramatic, probably, but they're leading up to what will happen so please don't stop reading. Seth and Ryan will come into the story next chapter, too. Richard did have a motive and you will find it out (eventually).**

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. or its characters. And like I mentioned before, this story overlooks Marissa shooting Trey.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

Seth and Ryan were sitting in the living room watching Sean of the Dead while Seth was contemplating where Sandy could be.

"Maybe he got attacked by killer zombies," Seth suggested, taking inspiration from the movie.

Ryan threw Seth a glance, his eyebrows raised. Seth didn't often lack originality.

"Yeah, I know," Seth replied to Ryan's glance. "A bit too trite, huh?"

There was a silence as Seth thought up other explanations for his father's whereabouts.

" Maybe," Seth begun, the speed of his voice increasing, "he met his favorite singer in rehab and they've been seeing each other secretly but then today, they decided to run away together and now they're headed for the Vegas to make a fortune through karaoke and musicals."

Ryan shook his head.

"Celine Dion's married to that old guy and has a kid," Ryan reminded Seth, whose ideas seemed to be growing more nonsensical.

"Oh, yeah," Seth remembered.

Silence reigned for several moments until the sound of the front door opening carried through to the living room.

"Or maybe he's just got back," Ryan decided.

"I do believe you're right," Seth agreed as they continued to watch the movie and footsteps approached the boys.

"So father," Seth begun as the footsteps entered the room, not looking up from the TV, "how is mother?"

Ryan looked up to see Sandy and Kirsten, a look of surprise apparent on his face.

"You're back," Ryan stated with a smile.

"What do you mean-we heard him come in," Seth said, before finally looking up. Upon seeing Kirsten, Seth's facial expressions were ten times as extreme as Ryan's.

"Hi," Kirsten said with a smile, trying to control the swelling of happiness that came with seeing the boys.

Seth stood up and hugged Kirsten, followed by Ryan. For the first time in so long, it felt like they finally resembled something like a family again.

* * *

Sandy smiled as he looked over at Kirsten, who Seth and Ryan were trying to explain a movie plot to. She looked more alive and happy than he had seen her in months. He took his time clearing the table and cleaning up: he wanted to give Kirsten as much time with the boys as possible. Since she'd returned, the boys-Seth in particular-had hardly let her out of their sight. They'd all missed Kirsten while she had been gone, it had made them realise how instrumental each member of the family was.

Sandy glanced over at Kirsten again, realising that with her hair and body positioned the way they were, you could just make out the cut on her forehead if you looked hard. Sandy looked down at the plate in his hand, remembering how Kirsten had spent a couple of hours crying on the beach. She hadn't cried like that since last summer, when they'd realised that Seth- and not just Ryan- had left Orange County. Kirsten had felt better afterwards, but Sandy just felt so damn helpless. It was like there was absolutely nothing he could do.

"Hey," Ryan said, interrupting Sandy's train of thought and taking him by surprise.

"Hey," replied Sandy. "You're not hanging out with Seth and Kirsten?"

"I figured they needed some time with each other," Ryan explained. There was a slight pause before he added, "Is Kirsten okay?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" Sandy asked quickly, wondering what Ryan had picked up on.

"I dunno, she just seems…jumpy, I guess," Ryan begun. "And unsettled. I mean, it seems like it's more than leaving rehab and Charlotte's. When you called out from the kitchen if we wanted anything, she jumped a mile."

Ryan saw a frown of concern crease Sandy's forehead.

"What is it?" Ryan asked, as Sandy cursed Ryan's innate perceptiveness.

"It's nothing," Sandy claimed.

"Kirsten left Charlotte's suddenly," Ryan pointed out. "She was there for what, two nights?"

"Something happened there," Sandy admitted, after a long pause. "It's nothing you need to worry about. She's fine, but it was enough to give her a hell of a scare."

Ryan looked at Sandy for several moments, as if he was awaiting a further explanation.

"And she is okay?" Ryan asked, when it became clear he wouldn't get told more.

"Yeah," Sandy answered. "Don't worry."

Sandy watched as Ryan headed out to the pool house before sitting down and reading the newspaper. He'd been reading uninterrupted for close to an hour when Seth passed through the room.

"Going to bed," he told Sandy. "Night."

"What happened with the movie?" Sandy asked.

"The usual," Seth explained. "Once Mom gave up on trying to understand she fell asleep."

"Night," Sandy smiled, folding up the newspaper as Seth left the room.

Sandy crept into the living room. Sure enough, Kirsten was sprawled across one of the couches, her mouth open slightly and snoring softly. From the sound of things the snores would escalate into freight train levels in a matter of minutes.

Lifting Kirsten up into his arms, a quiet, sleepy voice protested, "I wasn't asleep. Just resting my eyes."

"Of course," Sandy said with a grin, walking towards their bedroom.

By the time they'd reached the bedroom, Kirsten had woken up but kept her eyes close, not wanting Sandy to let her go. He lay her down on the bed and set himself next to her. Kirsten rolled over on top of him and placed her head on his chest.

"It's so good to be home," she mumbled.

"We've all missed you," Sandy told her. "So you're done with resting your eyes?"

"I think so," Kirsten decided, looking up at Sandy, smiling.

Kirsten leaned up and kissed Sandy, feeling his arms tighten around her. Sandy breathed in her scent, unable to express his happiness at her being back where she belonged.

"I'm not letting you go again, you know," Sandy said.

"Good," Kirsten smiled, running her hands up his arms. "Coz I'm not gonna let you let me go."

Sandy grinned and kissed Kirsten, sitting up taking her with him. Kirsten worked her way down the buttons of Sandy's shirt, Sandy busy trying to remove Kirsten's top at the same time. They were both lost in each other's embrace-in each other.

* * *

Kirsten nervously paced the bedroom floor. She'd woken up with that lethal combination of craving and guilt-guilt at what she had put her family through. She was pretty sure that she could overcome this, but it was just a matter of trying to figure out what to distract herself with in the meantime.

Sandy woke up to the sound of footsteps padding up and down the room. Reaching his arm across the bed, he realised it was Kirsten. Using all of his energy, Sandy opened his eyes to see Kirsten fiddling with her hair and walking around the room. There went Sandy's idea of surprising her with breakfast in bed and the replacement wedding rings he'd picked up for her.

"What's wrong?" Sandy asked, causing Kirsten to jump a foot in the air, reminding Sandy of what Ryan had told him the night before.

"Nothing," she said, unconvincingly.

She stopped pacing the room and sat down next to Sandy.

"Most days I'm fine," Kirsten explained. "But sometimes I get these guilt attacks-over what I put you all through. And then I get cravings…That's what's happened today."

"Okay," Sandy said, pulling Kirsten down next to him and pulling her in close.

"I'll get over it," Kirsten promised, taking Sandy's hand. "I can resist the temptation. And it's getting better all the time."

"It's okay," Sandy reassured her quietly. "I know you can. It doesn't make it easy for you, anyway."

Kirsten leant her head against Sandy, closing her eyes and wondering what she ever did to deserve someone so amazing.

"Can we go out today?" Kirsten asked. "Do something just the two of us? Or do you have work?"

"I've taken the next week off," Sandy told her. "So we can do whatever you want. Are you still going to take the next fortnight off?"

"I think so," Kirsten said. "I want to get everything else under control. Why?"

"I was thinking-only if you wanted-that I could extend my time off," Sandy suggested. "Then we'd have this time together."

"I'd like that," Kirsten said instantly.

* * *

"I didn't think we'd be going grocery shopping when you suggested doing something together," Sandy whined, later that day.

"Well, I didn't realise you'd been stuffing the boys with junk food and soft drink," Kirsten responded.

"And bagels," Sandy protested. "Bagels have nutritional value."

Kirsten smiled and shook her head, thinking of the lone, mouldy apple sitting in the fruit basket. It wouldn't have surprised her if that apple had been there since before she'd left.

Kirsten and Sandy made their way up to the checkout aisle, stuck behind a long que.

"At least we picked a good time," Sandy said cheerfully, to which Kirsten smiled and rolled her eyes.

"It means more time together," Kirsten pointed out.

"Kirsten?" came a voice from behind them.

Kirsten turned, her heart sinking upon seeing Taryn-the biggest gossip out of all of the "Newpsies" as Sandy called them.

"Taryn, hi," Kirsten said, forcing a smile. Her suspicion of the whole town knowing she'd been in rehab was instantly confirmed by the look in Taryn's eyes.

"Oh my God, I thought it was you!" Taryn exclaimed. "I didn't know when you were coming back. How was your 'trip'?"

"Fine, thank you," Kirsten said, trying to stop herself from wincing at the emphasis Taryn had put on the word "trip" and the group of people who had glanced across when they'd heard that word. "How have you been?"

"Oh, the usual," Taryn said. "Run off my feet by the kids."

Kirsten forced another smile and surreptitiously counted four customers in front of her. It was going to be a long wait.

* * *

"Well, I'm impressed," Sandy told Kirsten that evening, walking along the beach. "Normally it's a struggle to get you out on the beach twice in a year."

"I'm not going swimming," Kirsten warned him, glancing out cautiously at the ocean. "And I'm out here more than twice a year."

Sandy smiled: it was so easy to stir Kirsten; wind her up. And she looked so cute when she was defensive.

A young family came into view: a couple and a boy who was maybe about two. The sun was beginning to set, and the parents were trying to pack everything up while keeping an eye on the boy who kept trying to run back into the ocean.

"It seems like ages ago since Seth was that age," Kirsten noted, somewhat sadly.

"You normally hear parents saying the opposite," Sandy commented. "Seth never reacted that way to the ocean. Not the first time we took him, anyway."

"That's right," Kirsten remembered, looking at the boy who was now being carried away crying, and holding outstretched hands towards the water. "He cried-but it was because he was scared of the ocean. He kept on running away from the waves screaming. Poor thing."

"Sounds like his mother," Sandy teased.

"Hey, I did not run away from the waves screaming in fright when I was little!" Kirsten defended. "It was a game. And there was no screaming."

"Of course," Sandy agreed unconvincingly. "Well, at least Seth came around eventually."

"And we all know where he gets his mocking from," Kirsten pointed out.

"Oh really?" Sandy asked in mock seriousness.

"Really," Kirsten replied, emulating Sandy's seriousness.

"Well, if that's the way you think," Sandy said before scooping Kirsten up and carrying her out in the ocean.

"Oh, no, Sandy-don't!" Kirsten protested, hovering a few inches above the water. "My shoes will get ruined."

"Now they won't," Sandy declared, taking them from Kirsten's hand and throwing them to safety.

"But my top!" Kirsten complained. "It will go see through."

"I don't mind," Sandy promised with a smile.

"I know _you _don't, but I do!" Kirsten laughed. "We have to walk back to the car."

"It's dusk," Sandy told her, "No one will be able to see."

Sandy dipped Kirsten slightly, so the tips of her hair were trailing the water.

"Don't you dare drop me in that water, Sandy!" Kirsten warned, unable to suppress a giggle.

"What are you going to do about it?" Sandy asked.

"Grovel?" Kirsten suggested. "Beg?"

"Go on," Sandy said.

"If you take me back to the beach," Kirsten begun, "dry and free of whatever's in the ocean-we can spend the rest of the night doing whatever you want."

"That's tempting," Sandy admitted. "But so's the idea of dropping you in the ocean."

"What about threats?" Kirsten said wickedly. "If you drop me in that water or get me wet in any way; nothing will happen between us for the next week."

"You wouldn't!" Sandy exclaimed, feigning shock.

"Oh, I would," Kirsten said with a straight face. "But if you take me back to the beach, I can promise you that the next week won't be spent doing nothing."

Sandy considered this for a moment before lifting Kirsten clear of the water.

"You made the right choice," Kirsten assured him smiling, wrapping her legs around his waist and locking her arms around his neck.

"I thought so, too," Sandy agreed, before kissing Kirsten, carrying her back to the beach and setting her down. "You know how to tempt-or threaten-me."

Kirsten smiled and collected her shoes before sitting down next to Sandy and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Have you ever wondered what it would have been like if we'd've had another child?" Kirsten asked, her thoughts returning to the young family they'd seen before.

"Yeah, I've wondered," Sandy admitted. The truth is; he would have loved another kid. They'd been going to try when they found out Kirsten's mother had cancer. The whole ordeal had been too stressful so they'd put the baby idea on the back-burner. When they'd moved to Orange County, Hailey had been thrust in their care. Raising a thirteen year old and a six year old pushed the idea of another baby back even further.

"Why didn't we?" Kirsten asked. "I mean, why didn't we try after Mom died and we weren't taking care of Hailey anymore?"

"I suppose we got caught up in our careers," Sandy realised.

"Well, I'm glad we have Ryan," Kirsten decided. "It's like he's given us all a new lease on life."

"I guess you could say we have three kids, then," Sandy concluded.

"We're an odd family," Kirsten said, happily.

"Yes, we are," Sandy agreed.

**Well, that was a long chapter. The next few chapters won't be too long and all of what's happening-and what will happen in the next few chapters-is leading up to one major event. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and sorry it's been awhile between updates.**

The next week passed uneventfully. Kirsten settled into life back at home, visited some of her friends (including Julie and Jimmy whose relationship looked rocky) and the boys returned to school.

"Hey Mom, these came for you," Seth pointed to a bunch of flowers as Kirsten blearily stumbled into the kitchen one morning.

"I wonder who they're from," Kirsten mused, making her way over to them and opening the letter.

_I'm sorry for what happened_, the letter read. _I'm staying at my sister's in Toronto-give me a call if you're ever out that way. Thank you for being such a great friend and helping me through rehab-Charlotte._

Kirsten looked at the address and phone number included in the letter and her heart couldn't help but sink: she'd thought Charlotte would change her mind about moving. Her one, true female friend was now hours away.

"Who're they from?" Seth asked, as Sandy walked in from his morning surf.

"Who're what from?" Sandy asked.

"The flowers Mom got," Seth explained.

"Ah…they're from Charlotte," Kirsten answered, to which Seth raised his eyebrows. "For something that happened. She's moved to Canada and wanted to give me her address. Where's Ryan? You're gonna be late for school."

"He's had breakfast," Seth replied. "He's in the pool house. I'll see you guys later."

Seth slipped out and went to find Ryan, as Kirsten collected a bagel and begun to prepare it. Sandy walked over to the flowers, observing them.

"They're nice," Sandy decided. "So she's moved in with her sister?"

"Yep," Kirsten replied with a sad tone in her voice. "I thought it was a heat of the moment decision…something she wouldn't go through with. She said she loved that house."

"It's a drastic action to take, anyway," Sandy mused. In his mind, it just wasn't right: people don't move across the country just because some guy came to their house and threatened their friend. Sandy could somewhat understand Charlotte wanting to move with her living alone, but to a different state? Sandy decided that she must have known Richard.

"What?" Kirsten asked, noticing Sandy was lost in thought.

"Nothing," Sandy said quickly. Whatever this was, it was Charlotte's problem-not Kirsten's or his. He didn't want his family dragged into any of Charlotte's messes.

"You know, I've been thinking," Kirsten announced, taking a bite out of her bagel. "And what I'm about to say is a pretty big matter, so you'll really need to think about it."

"Oh honey, I'm not living in the back of a mail truck again," Sandy said jokingly. "Or the back of anything, for that matter."

"Very funny," Kirsten said, dryly. "This is bigger than that-and I have really thought about it."

"What is it?" Sandy asked, sitting down next to Kirsten with his breakfast.

"Well, do you remember last week when we were at the beach?" Kirsten begun. "And we were talking about why we never had another baby? I've been thinking-a lot-and, well, what if we tried for another baby?"

"Another baby?" Sandy asked, surprised by the idea.

"Like I said, you don't have to answer right away," Kirsten declared, quickly. "But, could you promise me to really think about it? And we'll need to talk about it too, of course."

"Okay," Sandy agreed. "I'll think about it. What made you decide this?"

"I don't really know," Kirsten replied. "I guess it was partly seeing that family on the beach-but it's been on my mind for awhile. Seth and Ryan are graduating this year-and it's not a case of trying to replace them but I've always wanted to have another baby and this way, we could give the baby more of our time. What are your feelings on this?"

"I'm surprised at the moment," Sandy admitted with a smile. "I didn't see this coming. I mean, I'll need to think about it but to tell you the truth; I'd kind of like another kid."

"I think it would rejuvenate us as well," Kirsten stated.

"What, you think we're getting old?" Sandy mocked.

"We're not getting any younger," Kirsten pointed out.

"Well, with today's inventions that's an option," Sandy kidded. "Look at the Newpsies."

Kirsten smiled and kissed Sandy, ignoring his corny comment.

"So you'll think about it?" Kirsten reminded him.

"I will," Sandy promised.

* * *

Sandy walked into his and Kirsten's bedroom, where he found Kirsten in the wardrobe amidst a sea of shoes.

"What are you doing?" Sandy asked, a frown creasing his puzzled forehead.

"Sorting out my shoes," Kirsten explained. "Some of them escaped from my rack. What's that you're holding?"

"Oh, that," Sandy said, remembering the reason why he came in. "I brought you lunch in bed."

"Lunch in bed?" Kirsten laughed.

"I'm sure it works just as well on the floor," Sandy decided. "Let's see; I made you that noodle dish you like, a chicken salad and some coffee."

"I think I'd like it in bed," Kirsten declared, manoeuvring her way through the sea of shoes until she reached their just-made bed. "Or on bed. It doesn't have to be in bed."

Sandy smiled and set the tray down where Kirsten was sitting.

"Thank you," Kirsten smiled. Only Sandy would do something like lunch in bed.

"I'd eat the salad first if I were you," Sandy suggested.

"But then the noodles will go cold," Kirsten complained.

"It probably needs some time to cool down, anyway," Sandy pointed out.

"You know I'm the worlds slowest eater," Kirsten reminded him.

"So, have some of the salad and then the noodles," Sandy compromised.

Kirsten looked at him, perplexed as to why he was so insistent on her eating the salad first. Picking up the fork, Kirsten filled it with some salad. Spearing a lettuce leaf, Kirsten almost dropped her fork when she saw something underneath it. Looking closer, Kirsten's mouth dropped open as she saw a metallic glint and then a white-gold engagement ring. She picked it up-it was almost identical to the one she'd lost in her car accident a few months ago.

"Oh my God," Kirsten said quietly.

"You didn't expect me not to get you a replacement, did you?" Sandy said with a smile. "Keep looking."

Kirsten searched through the salad, finding twisted wedding and eternity rings.

"The engagement ring is engraved," Sandy told her, taking the rings out of Kirsten's hand. Turning it on an angle, Sandy held it so Kirsten could see the engraving of _Love Eternal_.

"That's beautiful," Kirsten told him with a big smile. Her finding them may not have been exactly romantic, but it was certainly unique and sweet.

"So, will you accept these rings?" Sandy asked.

"I will," Kirsten answered as Sandy slipped the rings on her finger.

"You can kiss me now," Sandy told her, moving the tray to a side.

**2 chapters until it all starts up… **


	6. Chapter 6

**A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! I feel guilty now about what's going to happen later on in the story, but I can promise you it WILL have a happy ending! I've a huge obsession with Kandy babies too-I really think that's the most important thing Season 3 needs…**

"I've thought about it," Sandy announced the next day, as Kirsten walked into the living room.

"What?" Kirsten asked sitting next to him, having missed half of what he said.

"I've thought about it," Sandy repeated. "The baby idea."

"Wow, that was quick," Kirsten exclaimed. "And you're definite about your choice?"

"Well, it's definite that I want another baby," Sandy told her.

"What?" Kirsten asked again, this time worried that she had misheard him. "You want another baby?"

"Yes," Sandy answered, smiling.

"You won't change your mind?" Kirsten asked. "I mean, you've only had a day to think about this."

"I didn't think for this long about proposing to you," Sandy remembered. "And look how well that turned out."

"Well, that's true," Kirsten agreed, taking Sandy's hand in hers. "So…what do we do now?"

"You really need me to spell it out for you?" Sandy asked.

* * *

It would really help if I knew my cycle, Kirsten decided, cocking her head to one side and staring at an ovulation kit she'd picked up the day before. She couldn't remember if she was currently late or due about now. 

Kirsten yawned and popped the test back in the bathroom cupboard. It was pointless using it at the moment. Whatever the case, Kirsten knew she was tired as hell. It was the morning before she and Sandy returned to work and she'd been surprised to wake up at nine-thirty. Although, with the way she'd been in the past few days, she should be used to the tiredness and late mornings.

"Let me guess, you just woke up," Sandy predicted, Kirsten walking out of the bathroom as Sandy walked in to the bedroomafter his surfing.

"Good guess," Kirsten said, giving Sandy a kiss. "Morning."

"Morning," Sandy replied. "You've been tired recently. Are you feeling okay?"

"Apart from the tiredness, I'm fine," Kirsten said. "I think."

"So, what will we do with our last day of freedom?" Sandy asked.

"Sounds like we're schoolkids on holidays," Kirsten laughed.

"Feels that way to me," Sandy admitted.

"You know, we could always stay home and do nothing," Kirsten suggested. "It will make the day go by slower."

"Sounds a lot like what we did in our college days," Sandy smiled. "I like the way you think."

Kirsten smiled and Sandy reached out behind him, where he'd set down a coffee.

"Oh, I bought you your favorite coffee," Sandy remembered, handing it to her.

Kirsten took the cup. As soon as the normally pleasant smell of coffee hit her, she handed it straight back to Sandy.

"I'm sorry," Kirsten told him, paling. "Maybe it is more than tiredness."

The smell still stayed with Kirsten and she paled further.

"Are you okay?" Sandy asked, putting down the coffee and laying his hands on Kirsten's arms.

Kirsten opened her mouth to respond but immediately clamped a hand over it before running to the bathroom.

* * *

"Sandy, I'm fine," Kirsten protested, as Sandy tucked her into bed minutes later. "Really." 

"I don't want you to get any worse," Sandy told her, noticing her still pale face. "You must rest."

"Oh, that's an order, is it?" Kirsten laughed.

"Yes, it is," Sandy declared. "Now, you'll need some water so you don't dehydrate. Or would you prefer something sweet? Do you want me to bring in a bucked in case you throw up again? Do you want something to eat-some toast, fruit, anything?"

"I could get them myself," Kirsten told him.

"No, you have to rest," Sandy said firmly.

"Yes, sir," Kirsten obeyed. "Well then; I'd like some orange juice. No food. No bucket."

"What if you throw up again?" Sandy worried. "I'll go find a bucket."

"Um…no, thanks," Kirsten replied, somehow finding a bucket more repulsive than the toilet.

"I'll bring it in, just in case," Sandy decided, leaving the room.

Kirsten leaned over and took her organiser from her bedside table. She needed something to do. Flicking through, it was easy to tell which period of time she was in rehab for. Most of the weeks were close to full with reminders, but for eight weeks, they were relatively empty. There was were the odd, "Sandy visits", "Call ...­­" or "Therapy" memos but that was it.

Kirsten put down the organiser and rested her head against her pillow. Closing her eyes, Kirsten hated to admit that she really was tired as anything. And that nausea hadn't completely gone.

"Here you go," Sandy announced, making Kirsten jump as he walked in with a bucket and her juice. "Did I wake you?"

"I…don't think so," Kirsten replied, unsure, taking the juice and having a sip.

"Maybe you should try to have a sleep," Sandy suggested. "It might make you feel better."

"Okay," Kirsten agreed, to Sandy's surprise.

"Wow, you must be sick," Sandy declared, concerned.

* * *

Kirsten stared at her computer blankly, wishing she was still in bed, like she had been yesterday. She'd woken up this morning tired and nauseas, much to her dismay, but had pushed herself to work. 

Kirsten shook her head and forced herself to concentrate. She couldn't slack off on her first day back at work-especially not now that she had taken over her father's role as head of the company.

Looking at the dates in front of her, Kirsten jotted some down in her organiser, her hand accidentally slipping, flipping back a few weeks. Kirsten saw a "Day 1" written down-she'd finally decided to record it for once. Looking up at the date, a frown formed on Kirsten's face. That couldn't be right. Kirsten counted back the weeks to make sure her calculations were accurate. They were. Six weeks ago… That meant she was two weeks late.

For the first time that day, Kirsten's brain clicked.

* * *

It had to be coincidence. There was just no other explanation for it: you don't decide to have a baby only to find that you might be pregnant due to some one-off time weeks ago. It just didn't work. The chances of it happening were too miniscule. 

Yet Kirsten couldn't help but hope: the nausea, tiredness-it just all fit in. Unless…Kirsten grimaced as a terrible thought entered her head. What if it was menopause? Sure, she would be very young for it, but stranger things had happened.

Kirsten made a sudden turn as a petrol station caught her eye. It appealed to her for two reasons: the first being that it would probablysell pregnancy tests, the secondbeing the sign outside reading; "Starbursts-Buy 2 Get 1 Free!"

Another sign pointing to her possible pregnancy were the cravings Kirsten had recently developed for lollies-in particular, Starbursts. Normally she couldn't handle sweet things in large quantities but she'd scoffed down a packet of the gummy lollies today in a matter of minutes.

Despite having being tired for the past few days, the combination of fear and excitement pushed the tiredness from her mind, her thoughts distracted from her bed for the first time in awhile.

* * *

Kirsten nervously paced the bathroom floor, staring at the four, blank tests looking up at her. The tests had only claimed to be 99 percent accurate, and Kirsten wanted to be as certain as possible. 

Kirsten bit her lip and continued her pacing. Her whole life had been spent in want of being "more"-more focused, more even-tempered, more patient. She'd spent her life trying to achieve perfection, an impossible standard to reach, resulting in frustration and disappointment. It was times like these that she realised just how in need of that focused attitude, even temper or-in this case-patience she was.

Glancing quickly at her watch, Kirsten's stomach somersaulted as she realised the results were probably showing. Kirsten took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down and prepare for a negative result.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Kirsten picked up one of the tests and prepared herselffor the worst. Using all of her strength, Kirsten prised her eyes open and forced herself to look at the result.

Staring at it, Kirsten's eyes widened in shock and her heart leapt up her throat. Maybe it was wrong, Kirsten told herself, there was that 1 percentchance. It _had_ to be wrong.

Grabbing frantically at the other tests, Kirsten was met by four, identical results. The chances of four tests being incorrect when they showed the same result must be next to none.

Still staring at the test results in shock, Kirsten burst into tears.

**Please continue reviewing-it means a lot to me!**

**Next chapter, it all starts up…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks everyone who reviewed! And this is what I get up to when I should be studying the difference between mitosis and meiosis…(LOL, just realised that's sort of linked in with this.)**

"Hello?" Sandy called out, walking into the house.

The silence that answered him caused Sandy to decide that the boys were out, and Kirsten was either in the garden or bedroom judging by her car being parked outside.

Sandy set his case down and made his way to the bedroom, to see if Kirsten was there. The room was silent, but the sight of a packet of lollies and Kirsten's jacket and shoes lying across the room meant that she must be there.

"Kirsten?" Sandy called out, heading towards the en suite. A small squeak issued from within and Sandy shrugged; the tap did squeak sometimes.

Sandy was about to turn around and head out of the room, when the sight of the bathroom door opening caught his eye. Kirsten came out looking shocked, with tears falling down her face.

"What is it?" Sandy asked, rushing over and taking Kirsten in his arms.

To Sandy's surprise, Kirsten's face broke into a grin as she pulled away.

"We're having a baby!" Kirsten announced.

"What?" Sandy asked, convinced he had been hearing things.

"We're having a baby!" Kirsten repeated, the grin on her face growing bigger-if that was possible.

"You mean…you're pregnant?" Sandy asked, his face full of shock.

Kirsten nodded her head as Sandy's face broke into a grin emulating Kirsten's. Taking Kirsten in his arms, Sandy kissed her then spun her around as Kirsten giggled.

"I can't believe it!" Sandy exclaimed. "When could that've happened?"

"That night we stayed at the hotel," Kirsten reminded him. "Remember? We thought we'd be safe that one time. And then today I was looking through my organiser and realised I was two weeks late-can you believe it, Sandy? We're gonna be parents again!"

"Oh my God," Sandy said, lost for words. This was all so quick; so sudden. "This is amazing! And you're pretty sure you are? I mean, you took a test?"

"Four," Kirsten nodded. "And they all came back positive."

"You took four tests?" Sandy asked, amused.

"I wanted to make sure it was right," Kirsten replied, with a sheepish grin.

* * *

"Mom, are you alright?" Seth asked as Kirsten stumbled into the kitchen, pale and dark-eyed. 

It was three days since Kirsten had found out she was pregnant; the day after she'd booked an appointment at the doctors and had a test. The results had come back positive and Sandy and Kirsten were waiting for the right moment to tell the boys. In the morning was not high on their list, especially Kirsten's.

Kirsten nodded and Ryan and Seth watched on in amusement and Kirsten got some orange juice and lollies for breakfast.

"No coffee?" Seth asked, shocked, waving his cup around.

"Oh, Seth, don't," Kirsten moaned, as the smell hit her. "Keep it away from me, please."

A look of shock filled Seth's face.

"Ryan? Ryan, did you hear that?" Seth said in astonishment. "Mom just rejected coffee! Mom-coffee! Something is not right-are you sick?"

"I'm okay," Kirsten protested. "I'm just feeling a bit off this morning."

"You've been feeling off a lot lately," Ryan observed, remembering Kirsten's bleary eyed hellos for the past few mornings.

"You're right-she has," Seth realised. "Are you dying?"

"What?" Kirsten asked. "Of course not."

"Do you have cancer?" asked Seth.

"As far as I know, I don't."

"A virus."

"No."

"Cold?"

"No."

"Stomach bug."

"Seth."

"Hey, is that all you're having?" Sandy asked, walking into the kitchen and looking at Kirsten's feeble breakfast.

"Oh, don't you start, too," Kirsten complained.

"You need more than that, honey," Sandy told her. "I'll make you some toast."

"You know what this is like?" Seth begun, jokingly. "If I didn't know better, I'd accuse you of being pregnant, Mom."

Sandy halted in putting the bread in the toaster, Kirsten shot Sandy a helpless look, Ryan stopped eating and the smile on Seth's face turned to a look of astonishment.

"Oh my God," Seth declared.

"You're pregnant?" Ryan asked, his face now mirroring Seth's.

"This…isn't the way we planned to tell you," Kirsten begun.

"Nothing is with these two," Sandy interjected.

"I only found outa few days ago," Kirsten explained. "With one of those home pregnancy tests-"

"Four," Sandy cut in, followed by a glare from Kirsten.

"Anyway," Kirsten continued, "we were waiting for the right time to tell you. And please, don't tell anyone else yet."

"And you think you are?" Seth asked.

"With four positive test results, nausea, tiredness, cravings and a doctor's confirmation, I don't see there being any other option," Sandy pointed out.

"Congratulations!" Ryan said with a smile.

"Yeah, that's great!" Seth exclaimed, his face now lighting up. "Isn't it?"

"Of course," Kirsten smiled. "Or it will be once this morning sickness goes away."

"So, when's the baby due?" Seth asked, returning to his normal chatty self. "When's the ultrasound? Boy or girl-do you have a preference? Will you want to find out before the baby's born? What will you call it?-"

"Seth, don't call the baby 'it'," Kirsten winced. It made it seem like the baby wasn't real; wasn't a person.

"Okay," Seth agreed, rolling his eyes. "What will you call _the baby_? What room will you use? The spare room? If so: where will the guests sleep? What hospital will you choose?"

"That's fantastic," Ryan cut Seth off, noticing the bewildered looks on Sandy and Kirsten's faces. "I'm really happy for you guys."

"Is anyone going to answer me?" Seth whined.

"Thanks, Ryan," Kirsten said. "Oh, Seth, we don't know anything yet."

"But you only have less than nine months to prepare!" Seth reminded them. "How far along are you, anyway?"

"We think I'm about six weeks," Kirsten answered.

"But you've only been home for what-two, three?" Seth calculated.

"You count from your last…never mind," Ryan finished off, upon catching the recognition in Seth's eyes.

"Well, somebody knows his stuff!" Sandy teased, sitting down at the table and handing Kirsten the toast he made her.

"Dude, I'm don't even wanna know how you know that," Seth said, before turning on his parents with a disgusted look. "And it looks like Ryan's not the only one who knows his stuff. Happy as I am that you're pregnant, you do realise that you have seriously scarred me for life, don't you?"

"How so?" Kirsten asked confused, to which Seth shot her an exasperated look.

"Every time I think of or look at my sibling, it's going to be proof that you guys…you know," Seth said. "And that really is an image I could go without."

"What about when you think of and look at yourself?" Sandy asked wickedly. "Ever wonder how you came about?"

"Argh, please!" Seth complained, placing his plate and glass in the sink and covering his ears with his hands. "I'm happy for you guys-really I am, but please, enough sharing! Ryan, come on. Let's go to school before they traumatise us further."

"See ya," Ryan said. "And congratulations-I think it's great."

Ryan and Seth shot out of the house. Kirsten and Sandy looked at each other; Kirsten unable to suppress her giggles any longer.

"Poor Seth," she declared, in a far from convincing manner.

"I think he took it well, for him," Sandy proclaimed, smiling. "Considering the way the boys found out."

Kirsten smiled before quickly paling.

"Uh oh," Kirsten muttered, standing up and running out of the room.

* * *

The next few weeks were a blur of morning sickness, nausea, lollies and happiness for Kirsten. Although the nausea had by no means gotten any better, the happiness and excitement grew further as time progressed. 

Kirsten was woken up too early for her liking one Saturday morning as Seth barrelled into her room, holding a tray of plain toast and orange juice.

"So," Seth begun. "I was looking on the net after my date with Summer coz I noticed your morning sickness was kinda bad. And it turns out that it may be related to low blood sugar levels. So you see, Mom, the trick is to eat often. You know; a snack here, a bit there-a meal every now and then."

"Well, I didn't know that," Kirsten admitted, smiling-Seth had become incredibly over-protective of her and the baby since finding out she was pregnant. "Thanks, Seth."

"No problem," Seth said. "Just try to follow my advice, will you? I know you eat like a sparrow, but please-for the sake of this foetus that is the result of something I'd rather forget-eat right."

"It's alright," Kirsten assured him. "I'm taking care of both of us."

"There are all those packets of Starbursts I'm finding around the house," Seth said critically.

"The…baby has a sweet tooth," Kirsten protested.

"Hmm," Seth said sceptically. "Oh yeah-Summer says congrats and to call her if you ever need a baby sitter."

Kirsten and Sandy had finally given the boys permission to tell their girlfriends providing no one else knew until the first trimester was over.

"She might regret offering that," Kirsten warned, as Sandy walked in. "Hey Sandy-it looks like we've got three baby sitters now. Summer offered up her services."

"Four," Seth corrected her. "Marissa did as well."

"Even better," Sandy said, kissing Kirsten's head.

"That was very sweet of them," Kirsten told Seth.

Seth smiled and looked like he was about to say something when the smell of coffee wafted through the open bedroom door.

"Oh no," Seth said, before running out of the room as Kirsten stood up and ran for the bathroom. "Ryan-keep that coffee far, far away! It's a trigger for morning sickness!"

* * *

Sandy gazed around the baby store; his mouth dropping open at the sight of every price tag on every baby item imaginable. How Kirsten had talked him into baby shopping already, he'd never know. 

"Oh Sandy, isn't this cute?" Kirsten cooed, holding up a tiny white outfit with small, golden-colored ducks trailing across the front. She was going to try to resist baby shopping for awhile, but the temptation was just too strong.

"Is that real gold those ducks are made from?" Sandy asked, examining the price tag on the outfit which-he had to admit-was pretty cute.

"I thought you'd've learnt by now that nothing's sold here at a moderate price," Kirsten frowned, looking put out.

"It is…pretty cute," Sandy admitted reluctantly, as Kirsten's face broke into a grin.

"It would suit the baby-boy or girl," Kirsten gushed. "Couldn't you just imagine them in this outfit? It's so adorable! Oh, Sandy-we have to get it! It was just make everything seem so…_real_!"

Sandy watched helplessly as Kirsten charged up to the counter. Sandy couldn't help but smile: she'd become so alive since she found out she was pregnant-Sandy had, too. He couldn't remember seeing Kirsten like this since before they'd found out her mom was sick. Ever since then, Kirsten had become more uptight. Less the vivacious, bubbly twenty-two-year-old he'd married, with a beguiling shyness and reservedness.

Kirsten walked back to Sandy, looking pleased and happy with her new purchase.

"Ready to go?" Sandy asked.

"Oh come on-you could show a bit more enthusiasm," Kirsten complained, walking out of the shop.

"I am enthusiastic," Sandy insisted.

"I got this, too," Kirsten said, pulling out a book entitled _The Pregnancy Companion_ out of the bag, which gave a week by week account of what stage the baby and mother were at.

"But honey, you still have that one you had with Seth," Sandy reminded her.

"Yeah, I know, but things have changed since then," Kirsten declared, followed by a prickling feeling on the back of her neck. It felt like she was being watched, Kirsten realised, stopping in her tracks and looking around.

"What is it?" Sandy asked.

Kirsten looked around, seeing nothing unfamiliar. She must have become paranoid after than incident with Richard. But that had been, what-a couple of months ago, now?

"Kirsten?" Sandy asked.

"Nothing," Kirsten insisted. "It was nothing."

**Okay, so it's all started up now. Not much has happened, I know, but the next few chapters will add on to it more and more. So let me know what you think-if you love it, hate it, have any suggestions, whatever. (Also if you know the difference between mitosis and meiosis that would be great. I have my science book in front of me but that requires searching and effort…)**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! And, for those who wondered, I actually opened my science book and found the difference between mitosis and meiosis. I still get confused by it though…**

The nightmares had returned. After Richard's attempted attack months ago, Kirsten had woken up suddenly most nights for the first week or so after dreaming of what could have happened. She thought that she had finally gotten over those nightmares, but the past few days had proved her wrong.

And that feeling she'd had last week that she was being watched-she'd had it a few times since then. More than a few, actually. It seemed like a regular occurrence. It would happen when she'd buy her lunch during the week, when she was leaving work-pretty much any time she was alone.

It had to be a form of paranoia. The feeling last week must have triggered those nightmares to return, resulting in more "feelings" that she was being watched. Once, Kirsten could have sworn that she'd heard footsteps behind her following her back to her car-they quickened when she'd walk faster, they'd stop a second after she did-but when she'd turned around; no one was there. Part of her was worried that she was going crazy, the other part was worried that she wasn't.

Kirsten didn't want to tell Sandy. She was sure it was all just in her mind. If she told Sandy, he'd worry and he was already concerned enough for the welfare of her and the baby (along with the boys).

* * *

Weeks passed; the nightmares continued and so did the feelings of being watched. Doubts began to form in Kirsten as to whether it was just all in the mind, but now was definitely not the time to tell Sandy. Not when it was the day of the baby's first ultrasound and she, Sandy and Seth (who had insisted on coming along) were gathered in the waiting room. She didn't want Seth to hear, and she didn't want to ruin the excitement of the day.

"So, when are you going to tell everyone?" Seth babbled excitedly. "I mean, you're in your twelfth week so the first trimester's pretty much over. And what about The Nana? Are you going to tell her first?"

"I think…your father's gonna tell her," Kirsten decided.

"She's going to want to fly out when the baby's born," Seth pointed out. "Maybe even before."

"I'm well aware of that fact," Kirsten groaned.

"Have you thought of any Jewish names?" Seth asked. "Amos? Hammurabi?"

"Wasn't Hammurabi a Babylonian king?" Kirsten asked.

"Kirsten Cohen?" a voice called out.

"Don't let The Nana hear you say that," Sandy warned Seth as they stood up and made their way to the room. "She'd have me hung, drawn and quartered."

* * *

Three faces stared up at a screen, above the bed Kirsten was lying on.

"Is it normal not to see anything yet?" Seth asked anxiously, staring up at the blank screen.

"Very normal," the nurse assured him. "We have to locate where the baby is and it's still quite small."

"About 2.2 inches long," Seth rattled off as Kirsten and Sandy hid smiles.

"You have a very well informed son," the nurse told them with a smile.

Everyone in the room went silent as a baby came into view. Seth hadn't expected it to be so mobile; it was squirming, kicking, moving it's arms and didn't seem to stay still. Sandy and Kirsten hadn't expected it to be so clear and distinct-you could easily make out where the legs, arms and head were unlike with Seth's ultrasounds. Another arm suddenly made its way onto the screen, pushing the baby.

"Oh my God," Seth said. "You guys, I think there's something wrong with the baby-it has three arms."

"Well informed in some matters, anyway," Sandy managed to get out.

"That would be because there are two babies-twins," the nurse told them, finding the other baby and bringing both into focus. "And it looks like they're identical-they're sharing the same placenta."

"Oh my God," Kirsten smiled in shock, holding Sandy's hand.

"And they look healthy?" Sandy asked.

"They seem to be," the nurse told him.

"They're not too small for their gestational size?" Seth asked. "They're not malnourished?"

"We haven't got to the measurements yet but I think they're fine," the nurse promised.

"Can you believe it, Sandy?" Kirsten exclaimed. "We're having twins!"

* * *

Sandy, Kirsten and Seth arrived home-looking shocked but happy-to find Ryan, Marissa and Summer waiting for them.

"I hope you don't mind Marissa and Summer coming over," Ryan apologised. "They wanted to see how it went."

"No, that's fine," Sandy assured them.

"So, how did it go?" Summer asked, walking over to Seth, giving him a hug and kiss.

"Well, you can see for yourself," Kirsten told Summer, walking over and handing her the pictures. Marissa and Ryan crowded around Summer as she looked at them.

"Oh my God!" Summer exclaimed, as Ryan and Marissa's faces filled with shock. "You're having _twins_?"

"I am," Kirsten said with a smile.

"Congratulations!" Marissa said, coming up and giving Kirsten a hug, followed by Summer and then Ryan.

"I wasn't expecting that," Ryan admitted.

"Neither were we," added Sandy, taking the pictures from Summer and setting them down on the hall table.

"They're both healthy and, from the looks of it, they're identical," Kirsten informed them.

"Oh my God, that is so cute," Summer declared. "You'll have to dress them in matching outfits-that would be so gorgeous!"

"No, Sum," Marissa disagreed. "They'd loose their identity. They'd think they were the same person or something."

"What, when they're, like, six months old?" Summer asked sceptically.

"I'm with Summer on this one," Seth sided. "If they're boys I can dress them as Spiderman and if they're girls, they can be Wonderwoman.They'd have twice the resilience of a normal super hero."

"Oh God, no, Seth," Ryan groaned.

Kirsten and Sandy headed to the kitchen, unnoticed, as the debate continued.

"Let's make a vow to never let Seth dress these babies up as comic book characters," Sandy suggested.

"Agreed," Kirsten said. "I think we'll have a battle keeping those four away from these babies."

"I think you're right, But," Sandy begun, stepping towards Kirsten and wrapping his arms around her waist, "at least it will give us time to ourselves."

"Oh really?" Kirsten giggled as Sandy kissed her.

"We'll have four baby sitters on hand," Sandy pointed out, in between kisses.

"Eugh, you guys, get a room," Seth complained, walking in with Marissa, Summer and Ryan in tow. "Do not make these babies endure what I've had to."

"I don't think they have much of a chance at that," Sandy teased, watching as Seth's face filled with disgust.

"Pool house," Seth decided. "Now."

* * *

It was like she was going around in a daze for the next few days. Twins, Kirsten would repeat before correcting herself: _identical _twins. They'd be a handful, but Kirsten and Sandy couldn't help but feel more and more excited towards the idea. They were both counting down the weeks until the next ultrasound (five) when they could find out the babies gender.

Kirsten and Sandy had started telling people after the ultrasound and were met with positive reactions. Despite her excitement, Kirsten couldn't help but feel slightly sad. It was times like these when she missed her parents most-they would have loved more grandchildren. Kirsten remembered the slight envy she'd felt towards Sandy as she had watched him call The Nana and tell her the news. She wanted nothing more than to be able to call her mother or father and tell them she was pregnant. She wanted to hear the excitement in their voices they'd had when she'd told them she was pregnant with Seth (even her father sounded excited, already planning for this child to one day take over his empire).

Well, at least one good thing had come of the past week, Kirsten reminded herself as she scoured the supermarket aisles one evening: her "morning" sickness and tiredness had definitely subsided.

Making her way to the check-out, Kirsten paused to look at something on display. As she was observing the item, a familiar prickling feeling hit her. Closing her eyes briefly, Kirsten's heart sank. She hadn't had that feeling since before her ultrasound-almost a week ago, and she'd hoped that it had gone for good.

Turning around and looking out the sliding doors, Kirsten was hit with a wave of nausea-but not the morning sickness kind. Visible and standing just outside the store, he held his eye contact with Kirsten for just a second too long. He'd been seen-he knew it. Kirsten watched in shock as the tall, balding, shabbily dressed silhouette slipped away.

**Let me know what you think-please keep the reviews coming! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you once again to everyone who reviewed! Kandy4eva- this story will probably end up being around 15 chapters-is that too many/little? It might be more or less. **

**I also just realised that anonymous reviews for this story had been disabled (I know, how slow am I?) and I have just enabled it. So now there is no excuse for any of you not to review! LOL**

The nightmare grew worse and more vivid that night. Forgotten details of Richard's attack were added to it-details Kirsten thought she had erased. The nightmare conveyed everything: from the feel of his breath on her to the stinging pain his hands caused on her face. Except in the nightmare, there was no Sandy to rescue her as Richard attacked her, showing no mercy.

Kirsten woke up with a start. Light was filtering in through the windows and looking across, she saw Sandy looking at her, resting a hand on her arm.

"Are you okay?" Sandy asked. "You seemed pretty disturbed, so I woke you up. Sorry."

"I'm fine," Kirsten said quickly.

"You are?" Sandy asked critically.

"For God's sake, Sandy, would you just lay off and let me take care of myself?" Kirsten retorted, sharply. Kirsten stood up and made her way to the bathroom, wanting to get away before she confided in Sandy and told him about last night.

Sandy, surprised at Kirsten's comment and anger, jumped up and followed her. Something was wrong, he knew it. She'd been tense and worried for the past few weeks and Sandy didn't like seeing her like that. He was determined to get the truth from her.

"Kirsten, stop," Sandy commanded, catching up to her and holding her arm. "What's going on with you? Talk to me."

Kirsten tried not to look at him. It was the same thing every time: she'd try not to tell him how she felt but her eyes always found themselves drawn up to his, it was like a magnetic pull. As soon as she'd look in those blue eyes, she couldn't hide anything. This time was no different.

"I saw someone last night," Kirsten begun slowly, hating herself for the concern she was about to cause Sandy. "While I was grocery shopping… It was Richard."

"What?" Sandy asked, surprise flickering on his face. He thought that Richard had been after Charlotte-not Kirsten. "Honey, are you sure it was him? It could have just been-"

"It was him, Sandy," Kirsten interrupted. "He saw me-he was looking me straight in the eye for…forever, and he looked like he'd been caught. And that nightmare I had last night-I've been having it for awhile. Ever since I began to feel like I was being watched."

"You were being what?" Sandy asked, each sentence taking him more and more by surprise.

"And I tried to tell myself it was all in my mind," Kirsten babbled, unable to stop the flow of words. "I tried to tell myself I was still just affected by what happened at Charlotte's. I told myself that when I heard footsteps following me back to my car one night, I told myself that every time I felt like I was being watched and found no one around me, but I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't. Not after last night."

Sandy tried to process all of this information as he hugged Kirsten. The only thing going through his mind was the fact that he hadn't asked her what was wrong sooner. He'd known something wasn't right with her for weeks. Maybe, if he had of asked her sooner, he could have put an end to it.

"I just want it all to stop," Kirsten said in an exhausted voice.

"Stay home today," Sandy pleaded with her. "We'll figure out what to do-we'll call the police or something."

"What evidence do I have?" Kirsten asked, her heart sinking at Sandy's reaction. This was precisely why she hadn't wanted to tell him: he'd try to protect her too much, and she'd loose her independence. "What can they do? I don't want to have a bodyguard."

"So you're going to go to work?" Sandy asked, anger growing inside him at Kirsten's need for independence. For God's sake; it wasn't just her she had to protect anymore-she had two babies she had to protect, too.

"I can't stop living," Kirsten told him. "And if I stay home, then it will be harder to leave the house and continue living. I'll become paranoid."

"This isn't just about you!" Sandy told her, his frustration rising. "What about our babies, whose safety depends on you? You're not putting only yourself in danger, here. Have you even thought of them?"

"What do you take me for?" Kirsten exclaimed. "Of course I have! But work has security cameras and we all leave at about the same time."

"But then that night-"

"I was working back late," Kirsten explained. "Which, you'll notice, I haven't done since."

Sandy watched helplessly as Kirsten gave him one last glare and stalked into the bathroom. He couldn't stop her from going to work, but he could do something to try to get to the bottom of the story. He had an important phone call to make.

* * *

Sandy looked down at the number he'd copied from Kirsten's address book, fighting a guilty conscience. This was to help Kirsten and the twins. Her being so adamant about going to work had left him no other choice if he wanted to protect her. Dialling the number, Sandy prayed they would cooperate. Canada was a long way to travel.

"Hello?" answered an unfamiliar voice.

"Hi, that's not Charlotte, is it?" Sandy asked.

"No, this is her sister Laura," Laura replied. "I'll go get her for you. May I ask who this is?"

"Sandy Cohen," Sandy told her. "I'm Charlotte's friend's-Kirsten's-husband."

"Hold on," Laura said.

Sandy looked around his office, his mind full of thoughts of Kirsten. He was worried-very worried-about her. Kirsten and Sandy had always had this uncanny knack for knowing how the other was feeling or if something was about to happen to them. Sandy knew that Richard was bad news; someone that needed to be kept away from Kirsten at all costs.

He also knew that time was running out. Every second, basically, was spent worrying about Kirsten's safety. Sandy had even called her that morning to apologise for their fight earlier-despite the fact that he sucked at apologies and didn't think that this fight had been his fault-just so he could hear Kirsten's voice and know that she was okay.

"Sandy?" came Charlotte's voice on the other end of the phone, making him jump. "Sandy, are you there?"

"Sorry," Sandy said, coming out of his trance.

"Is Kirsten okay?" Charlotte asked, sounding concerned.

"Well, that depends," Sandy told her.

"On what?" Charlotte asked.

"On whether or not you tell me what your involvement is with Richard," Sandy replied. "And everything you know about him."

"What's happening with Richard and Kirsten?" Charlotte asked quietly.

"I thought you'd be able to tell me," Sandy commented. There was a pause, and Sandy realised that extracting information from Charlotte might be a case of give and take. "Kirsten's had someone following her recently and yesterday, when she got the feeling she was being watched, she turned around and saw Richard."

"Why are you asking me for information?" Charlotte asked, a scared edge in her voice.

"Richard just happened to turn up the one day you were out of the house," Sandy explained. "Then, as soon as you find out, you move states. It just doesn't add up. I thought Richard must have been after you but I was wrong. So now, I've decided that you knew Richard's plan. You were liaising with him."

"Well, you're wrong," Charlotte declared, a little too firmly. "I don't appreciate you accusing me, but I'm sorry I can't help Kirsten. Goodbye."

Sandy listened as Charlotte hung up. He'd wear her down eventually. She knew, Sandy was sure of it, and he'd get the truth from her even if it meant flying to Canada.

* * *

Kirsten breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped into her car at the end of the day. She'd expected to hear footsteps tracing her route back to the car or experience that prickling sensation on the back of her neck as she'd walked across the road to get some lunch, but not one thing had happened.

She couldn't continue living like this, Kirsten decided, pulling out of the car park, surprised at the darkness of the night. She couldn't continue living every day in fear, with the idea of being alone making her uneasy.

Sandy had been right, Kirsten admitted. She had to think more about the twins safety-it wasn't just her now. She had two people-half her, half Sandy-inside her who were defenceless. Much as Kirsten hated to admit it, maybe she did need to take a break from work and tell the police what was happening.

Kirsten smiled, turning on to a dark, narrow street, remembering Sandy's call shortly before lunch to apologise for their fight that morning. Kirsten had seen right through it, she knew that Sandy was doing it just to give him a reason to check up on her. As much as she disliked her independence being invaded, she couldn't help but find it sweet-and the babies did give Sandy a good reason to do so.

The sound of her phone ringing brought Kirsten back to earth. Kirsten pulled over to the side of the road, remembering what had happened the last time she'd talked on the phone while driving. Another car accident was not high on her list of things to do.

"Hello?" Kirsten answered, oblivious to the car behind her turning off its headlights and stopping a good few car lengths away from her.

"Kirsten Cohen?" a man's voice asked.

"Who is this?" Kirsten asked, feeling as though she'd had a bucket of ice tipped over her at the sound of the unfamiliar voice.

"This is Patrick Ross, from Riviera magazine," Patrick introduced himself.

"Oh, Mr Ross," Kirsten sighed, relief rushing over her as she recognised the name. Patrick was one of Riviera's top journalists. "How can I help you?"

"To begin with, I'm very sorry for the loss of your father," Patrick apologised. "Mr Nichol was an integral part of Newport."

"Thank you," Kirsten said, leaning over to lock the car doors.

"I tried calling you about a month ago, but your husband told me you were out of town," Patrick explained. "I understand you've taken over Mr Nichol's role at the Newport Group?"

"Yes, I have," Kirsten replied, growing uneasy as she looked out at the tree lined, practically deserted street.

"Congratulations," Patrick offered. "I was hoping that you would agree to us running a story on your take-over of the group, maybe going over the loss of your father?"

Kirsten reluctantly agreed-publicity being her least favorite part of her job and her relation to Caleb-growing anxious as the minutes ticked away while she organised a meeting with Patrick.

At last she and Patrick hung up. Kirsten couldn't wait to get off the road-it was so deserted, so quiet. About to change gears, a sound from the dashboard distracted Kirsten. Her eyes shifted over to the petrol gage and her heart flipped. This morning it had been half-full; now it was practically empty.

How the hell did that happen? Kirsten thought, fear rising in her as she watched the gage slip to empty. She couldn't get home on that.

Despite knowing that it was a wrong move, Kirsten grabbed a torch from the back and slipped out of the car. She walked to the petrol tank, her footsteps echoing into the silent night.

Kirsten crouched down and flicked on the torch, her senses fully alert. Every sound seemed to be magnified, she swore she could hear her heart beating underneath her quick, unsteady breaths. Kirsten examined the petrol tank, crouching under the car to get a good look underneath.

"Oh, God," Kirsten whispered. She was no expert when it came to cars, but it hardly took a genius to recognise a punctured petrol tank.

Kirsten slid out quickly from underneath the car, her mind only on calling Sandy.

Taking a step back, Kirsten jumped and let out a small scream as a sweaty hand clamped over her mouth and a metal object pushed against her head.

"Hello, Princess," a cold voice whispered in Kirsten's ear.

**So, there's the new chapter. Let me know what you think! And I promise you that it will have a happy ending, even though it may not be pointing that way for awhile. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all the people who reviewed! I've been really busy lately and I've got heaps and heaps of school stuff coming up so updates will probably be a bit slower. (I officially hate Lord of the Flies now.)**

A terrible feeling went through Sandy. Something had happened to Kirsten, he was sure of it. Pulling the car over to the side of the road, Sandy whipped out his cell phone.

He was met with ring after ring, before Kirsten's unanswered phone switched to voicemail. Before he could hear her voice, Sandy hung up.

She was close to him. The police wouldn't be of any help until Kirsten had been missing for at least twenty four hours, so there was no point in trying them. By the time they could help it might be too late. After Sandy was put through to voicemail once again, he returned his car to the road. He would not go home until he had found Kirsten.

* * *

"Let's see," whispered Richard, while Kirsten stood frozen to the spot. "There must be something we can do with that car… Shame I punctured the petrol tank, eh? It makes it harder to get rid of that thing."

"Are you going to kill me?" Kirsten whispered in a shaking voice; the only thing she could feel was the cold metal pressed menacingly against her hair.

"Not unless you run away or try something stupid," Richard told her, Kirsten grimacing as a hand slipped down her back and around her waist.

Kirsten almost breathed a sigh of relief as the gun was pulled away, but the feel of Richard's lips against her neck pushed away any relief she may have felt.

"Remember," Richard murmured in her neck, "don't try anything stupid. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not pointing at you. So do you know what that means?"

"That I'll do what you tell me to?" Kirsten guessed, as Richard turned her around to face him, his hands firmly resting on her waist. The eyes up close were even colder than she remembered. They looked dull; lifeless. His mouth turned up in a smile of pure evil.

"You are an intelligent one," Richard smiled. "Go take everything from your car-your cell phone, purse, anything that could tell people it's your car. And don't look so bloody scared. You'll act like you know me and you're doing this on your own accord."

Kirsten nodded and obeyed Richard's orders, while he removed the number plates from her car. She could run, but what was the point? Richard would shoot her; she'd be endangering the lives of three people. Any chance for survival, she had to take.

"Good girl," Richard told her mockingly as she made her way back. "Now, see that ditch there? We're gonna push your car in it-so lay your crap down."

Kirsten obeyed, a numbness now sweeping over her body. As she helped Richard push the car in the ditch, shock took over her, wiping out the fear, terror and anger she'd been feeling just seconds ago. The car toppled into the ditch, just as the sound of Kirsten's phone ringing caused them to turn their heads in its direction.

"You will not get it," Richard instructed her, walking up to her pile and picking the stuff up. "I guess your savior is too late this time, isn't he? Take this shit of yours and follow me."

Kirsten followed Richard. Each step she took seemed to be in time with each ring of her phone. Looking down at the called ID, the name Sandy lighting up on the screen woke up her emotions. He was probably on the way back from work. Maybe he was calling to see if she wanted to go out for dinner, or if she wanted him to pick up a movie to watch that night while she was following the person she feared most into what was probably a lair of death. A tear slipped down Kirsten's cheek as she wondered if she'd ever see Sandy and the boys again. Or, if she did survive this, would she ever get to see the twins? Would her babies survive?

They reached a car-Richard's car, Kirsten realized as she watched him unlock it. Richard opened the back door and threw in Kirsten's things he had roughly taken from her.

"Well, that won't do, will it?" Richard asked, upon observing Kirsten's tear strewn face.

Before she had the chance to respond, Richard's fist met firmly with Kirsten's face. Fresh tears sprung to Kirsten's eyes as she recoiled from the shock and pain.

"I told you to look like you're doing this on your own accord, you stupid bitch," Richard snarled, as Kirsten's cell phone begun to ring again in the back seat.

"Get in the car," Richard ordered, ignoring the phone.

Kirsten slid in to the front seat of Richard's old, white car before Richard grabbed some rope from the back and begun to tie up Kirsten's wrists.

"To stop you from trying to escape," Richard explained. "Couldn't loose this 'precious' cargo."

Richard closed the door, the phone having stopped ringing long ago, and hopped in to the driver's seat.

"Oh, and remember," Richard said, pulling back his jacket to reveal the gun as a warning before pulling off in to the long, dark road.

* * *

Sandy entered yet another road. This one was long, dark, covered with trees either side of the road and deserted. The only other car on the road was an old-looking white one, a fair distance ahead of him. 

Sandy sighed as he realized that he'd reached another dead end. Maybe his intuition was wrong, Sandy decided. Maybe Kirsten was at home and didn't hear her cell phone because it was in a different room. That seemed likely. Although, as hard as he tried, Sandy just couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened.

Jumping at the sound of his phone ringing, Sandy's heart gave a leap of hope as he saw Home on the screen.

"Kirsten?" Sandy answered anxiously.

"Dad?" came Seth's voice.

"Oh, Seth, hi," Sandy said, his heart sinking quicker than it had leapt. "Is your Mom back yet?"

"No," Seth replied. "But speaking of Mom, there's someone here who I really thought would've called in to see her but she wants to see you."

"There's someone there who wants to see me?" Sandy tried to make sense of Seth's ramblings. Sometimes it was as easy to understand him as it had been back when he was learning to talk.

"Yes," Seth affirmed.

"Who is it?" Sandy asked, after waiting several moments for Seth to tell him.

"Charlotte," Seth replied.

"Keep her there," Sandy instructed, turning in the direction of home. "I'll be there in ten minutes, tops. Do not let her out of your sight. Do not let her out of the house whatever you do. Okay?"

"Okay," Seth agreed, before lowering his voice. "But let me tell you, she's starting to freak me and Ryan out. She keeps looking around and asking if our phone's tapped or if anyone outside the family has access to the house."

"I don't care if she asks you to play Twister naked!" Sandy exclaimed. "Just keep her in that house."

* * *

"Why me?" Kirsten asked quietly, several minutes after the trip started. 

"That's not for me to answer, princess," Richard smiled. Kirsten definitely preferred it when he wasn't smiling. "Although with that body and face, it's pretty self explanatory…and that money."

Kirsten cringed at Richard's comments and laugh, the rope around her wrists cutting in sharply. Richard had done them up so tightly-even the slightest movement cause pain.

"So you stalked me," Kirsten begun, "the punctured my petrol tank and got someone to call me pretending to be a reporter from Riviera to distract me while my petrol ran out completely and you slipped off to the side of the road?"

"Not quite," Richard told her smiling. "I had nothing to do with that phone call. That was just luck on my account. I've been tracing your route back home and I calculated that if I made a puncture similar to the size I did, your petrol would run out on that road if the tank was initially half full. Pretty ingenious, don't you think?"

Kirsten stared straight ahead without replying. She wondered if Sandy would have guessed that something had happened, or if he was carrying on with his life completely oblivious. The whole thing felt so surreal, like a dream. These sort of things just didn't happen in real life. You read about them or watched them-you didn't live them.

Closing her eyes, Kirsten tried telling herself that this wasn't happening, but the pain and discomfort growing in her tightly bound wrists made her thoughts hard to believe.

* * *

Pulling to a rough stop, Sandy flew out of the car and inside to where he saw Ryan, Seth and Charlotte seated around the living room couches. 

"Guys," Sandy directed at Seth and Ryan, "please leave Charlotte and I alone."

"What's going on?" Seth asked, clocking on to Sandy's concern and…was it panic?

"I'll tell you later," Sandy impatiently promised. "Please, just leave."

Seth and Ryan walked out of the room. When Sandy was certain they were out of earshot, he turned to Charlotte who was looking about wildly.

"No one but you will be able to hear me, right?" Charlotte asked, her eyes searching the room. "I don't want him to know I told you but…oh God, he will. And then he'll come after me. Me! Oh God."

"Charlotte," Sandy interrupted. "Tell me what the hell is going on."

Charlotte looked up at Sandy, a look of fear and uncertainty on her face. There was a pause.

"Richard…" Charlotte begun unsteadily, before taking a deep breath. "Richard's…not the person you have to worry about."

* * *

"Bet you're wondering what I'm going to do with you; where I'm taking you," Richard chuckled. "Don't worry, doll face, all will be revealed soon." 

Kirsten looked around an unfamiliar area: it was about fifteen minutes out of Orange County and similar to Charlotte's neighborhood. Kirsten searched around for a distraction, anything that would divert her mind from what could be ahead. Nothing worked.

"When you tried to attack me," Kirsten asked, "what would you have done if my husband hadn't of turned up?"

"Raped you," Richard smiled, confirming Kirsten's suspicions and nightmares. "Then taken you here."

"And what are you going to do now?" Kirsten whispered. "Are you gonna rape me? Hold me hostage? Kill me?"

"Aw, if I tell you it'll ruin the fun!" Richard declared. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, though. You should count your lucky stars: I was given strict instructions not to rape you and to bring you here alive and in one piece."

"By who?" Kirsten asked, her voice shaking.

"You'll find out," Richard promised.

Kirsten looked out of the window into the dark night. It seemed like years ago now since she had left her office, relieved at having gotten through the day safely. It was amazing how quickly things could change.

* * *

"Who do I need to worry about, then?" Sandy asked. 

A name stuttered out of Charlotte's lips. Shock and surprise took over Sandy, and Charlotte watched him as his face paled and he stumbled back onto the couch, staring up at her in disbelief.

* * *

"Here we are, princess," Richard stated, pulling up outside a house that made Charlotte's look well maintained. 

Richard pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number, while Kirsten concentrated as best as she could on her breathing to try and forget the terror building up inside her.

"Hey, I've got her," Richard spoke into the phone. "…Yeah, we're waiting outside…Okay…Bye."

Richard hopped out of the car and walked over to Kirsten's side. Opening the door, he cut off the rope binding her wrists.

"Remember: look like you want to be here," Richard reminded her, grabbing Kirsten firmly around the waist and pulling her up, whispering in her ear, "And I still have the gun."

Kirsten looked around the empty street before making her way up to the house. She was pretty sure no one would see her, Kirsten realized with a sinking heart, her whole body shaking in terror.

Arriving at the door with Richard's arm still around her waist, there was a slight delay before the door opened. Kirsten watched it open, revealing her true captor bit by bit until she stared him in the face.

He reached out for her as she struggled to stay upright. Although she tried to fight it, she fell in his arms as her knees gave way. He pulled her in the house and sat her down. As he crouched down to her level, Kirsten had no choice but to look in his eyes.

**Uh oh. I hope I didn't make it obvious who this person is but I think I may have… Oops. Please keep reading and reviewing!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it's been awhile between updates! I had a disastrous hair-dying and eyebrow tinting experience and I was in hiding for a few days but it has all been sorted out so that delayed me. I had my hair dyed blonde and then I asked for my eyebrows to be tinted light brown and waxed but I ended up with teeny tiny really defined, black eyebrows. They did just not go with the hair.**

**Anyway. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed-I just hope none of you hate me after you find out who the person is…**

Kirsten sat staring at the person in front of her for a good minute as he looked in her eyes waiting for a response.

"Jimmy?" Kirsten croaked when she finally found her voice. The terror was increasing in her body by the second.

"You can leave now," Jimmy directed at Richard, standing up and handing him and envelope. "You'll get the other half of your payment in a few days-providing you don't tell anyone."

Richard nodded and left, throwing Kirsten one final haunting glance. Kirsten closed her eyes to avoid having to see the man she once trusted; once _loved_.

"Jimmy," Kirsten whispered in disbelief.

"Richard didn't rape you, did he?" Jimmy asked.

Kirsten shook her head and opened her eyes. She'd have to face reality sooner or later, and the reality was that Jimmy was standing right in front of her.

"Good," Jimmy stated. "I told him not to."

Kirsten stared at him. Was that supposed to make it better? Make her feel privileged that he 'respected' her enough to get someone else to abduct her but not rape her?

"Drink? Snack?" Jimmy offered, as casually as though she'd just popped over for a visit.

Kirsten shook her head, food and drink being the last things on her mind at that moment.

"You paid Richard to abduct me?" Kirsten whispered.

"I guess I owe you an explanation, don't I?" Jimmy said in a friendly voice, sitting down next to Kirsten.

* * *

"Jimmy?" Sandy stuttered in shock from the couch. "Jimbo-James Cooper?"

"Please," Charlotte begged. "Don't speak so loudly. If he finds out I told you…"

"I don't give a shit how loudly I'm talking!" Sandy exclaimed. "The only one with any knowledge of this around here is you-and you're going to tell me what the fuck's going on!"

"He…came to me when he visited Kirsten in rehab," Charlotte admitted quietly. "Asked if I wanted to make some money. I mean, of course I did! The amount he offered me was ridiculous-five thousand. Think of all of the clothes I could buy with that! I mean, you know that journalists can have trouble with money-"

"Charlotte," Sandy broke her off, frustrated.

"Anyway, so the he asked if I knew Kirsten Cohen," Charlotte continued. "How could I not? She was, like, the model patient at Suriak. So Jimmy told me that to get that money I had to befriend her. And…plant doubts in her mind as to whether or not she was ready to come home."

"_You_ did that!" Sandy exploded, aghast.

"Wait," Charlotte begged. "The thing was, the more I got to know Kirsten the more guilty I felt. She was-_is_-so nice, but I had to keep going. I really needed that money and I didn't know what Jimmy planned to do. So, before I left I gave her my address and I told her to call me if they tried to release her before she was ready; she could come stay with me. And, well, Jimmy's plan worked."

"I don't believe this," Sandy muttered, an anger like he'd never experienced rising up in him towards Charlotte and Jimmy.

"I didn't know he'd send Richard around, honest," Charlotte protested. "That was why I freaked out and moved to Canada. I didn't realize Jimmy was so dangerous."

"And you didn't tell us, even though you knew Kirsten was in danger?" Sandy raged.

"I was scared, I wasn't thinking straight!" Charlotte said defensively. "Why do you think I sent Kirsten my new address? I knew that then, if anything happened, you could reach me and I could come and tell you… Where _is_ Kirsten?"

Sandy's face turned blank and Charlotte's mouth opened in surprise.

"She's late from work and isn't answering her phone," Sandy said painfully. "Where do you think she is? And, to make matters worse, she's pregnant."

"Oh, shit," Charlotte whispered, holding her head in her hands.

"'Shit' is right," Sandy told her dryly. "Come on. We're going to the cops and you're telling them exactly what you told me."

* * *

Kirsten tried to process the information: Jimmy had paid Charlotte to be her friend, introduce doubts into her mind, prevent her from coming home and then he paid Richard to stalk her and learn her daily routine off by heart. Jimmy had _paid _Charlotte. Jimmy had paid _Charlotte_. There are another two people to strike off my list off people to trust, Kirsten thought bitterly, nausea rising in her at the shock she was enduring.

Sandy was the only adult now left for her to trust, Kirsten realized, tears springing to her eyes. But how could he ever find her now? How would she ever get out of this?

"I can't believe it," Kirsten said shakily, a tear slipping from her eye.

"There, there," Jimmy consoled, wrapping an arm around her and wiping the tear away as she recoiled at the touch that wasn't Sandy's. "It won't be so bad. Remember all the fun we used to have? It will be like old times."

"I thought you were having money problems," Kirsten remembered, releasing herself from Jimmy's grasp. "How could you afford to pay…_them_?"

"It would explain my sudden departure a few days ago more if I appeared to be in debt and trouble," Jimmy informed Kirsten. "It would also make it more realistic if I was in debt with a person or two. The family believed I was torn and in trouble."

A sudden tiredness rested in Kirsten's body, and all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed at home and sleep. Or just sleep, end of story, to try to forget about what had happened this evening. Looking up at Jimmy's face, Kirsten knew that she had to hear the rest of the story. Maybe it would let her know what to expect and how much danger she was in.

"This house…" Kirsten begun, noticing her tiny, derelict surroundings.

"Is a little investment of mine," Jimmy continued. "A temporary residence for you and me."

"But why did you do this to me?" Kirsten asked the question that had been echoing in her head since she'd seen Jimmy.

"You don't know?" Jimmy asked in surprise. "You don't know!"

* * *

Seth and Ryan jumped back from their eavesdropping corner about a second too late-probably due to the shock from what they'd heard-as Sandy walked in.

Ryan understood why Kirsten had left Charlotte's now-this Richard guy must have tried to attack her.

Sandy stared at the boys, not bothering for once to admonish them. The look they gave him showed that they had heard it all; there was nothing left to explain.

"Try your mother on her cell phone as often as you can," Sandy instructed them, before turning around and leaving the house with Charlotte.

* * *

"For God's sake, Kirsten!" Jimmy cried in exasperation. "Twenty years-over twenty fucking years and you never twigged on?"

Kirsten watched on in fright as Jimmy paced the room, running his hands through his hair. His eyes rested on her, and in them Kirsten saw two decades of suppressed anger that looked to be out of control now. Of course it was out of control: Jimmy had lied, hired people and bought this house because of her.

"All of this time, all of the hints I've dropped and you still haven't seen it," Jimmy muttered, staring Kirsten straight in the eye. "How damn naïve can you be?"

Jimmy let his gaze rest on Kirsten for several more moments before resuming his pacing.

"Why don't I give you some recent examples?" Jimmy begun in a dangerously low voice. "That time I kissed you after Julie filed for a divorce, telling Sandy about that kiss, going into the restaurant business with Sandy, dating Hailey, leaving Newport and then returning when Caleb died-do you think that they were meaningless? That I didn't have the same motive?"

Jimmy stopped and crouched in front of Kirsten as the past twenty years of her friendship with Jimmy came crashing down around her. Everything had all been a lie.

"You mean…" Kirsten whispered, unable to carry on.

"They were all done for you!" Jimmy yelled, as Kirsten flinched in horror at the blatant anger in his voice. "I did everything I could think of to bring that marriage of yours down, but nothing worked! I 'accidentally' tell Sandy about our kiss, pissed off that you'd pulled back, and the next time I see you, you're still sickeningly in love! Then, I bought that restaurant with him to try to find a way to break you up but that fell through.

"I dated your sister-shit, I even asked her to marry me hoping that you'd realize you're still in love with me but you just sat back and took it! Then I left, thinking that absence would make the heart grow fonder or some similar crap but it made it grow colder for you. How many times did you get in contact with me-three? Four?

"So then Caleb dies and I come back only to find that you've turned to alcohol. I thought that was fantastic-the weaker the state you were in the, the more chance I'd have of winning you over. But Sandy, being the overzealous martyr that he is, shipped you off to rehab! I couldn't win, no matter what I did. You left me no other choice, can't you see that?"

"I love Sandy," Kirsten whispered, managing to string three words together while trying to absorb the shock.

"Twenty years," Jimmy whispered, ignoring what Kirsten said. "That's how long I have waited for you. But I won't wait any longer, Kirsten. I can't. That's why I did this. I'm still in love with you and now, I'll never let you go."

**I have nothing against Jimmy-or rather, I had nothing against him until he left Julie on their wedding day-but I just thought it would sort of fit the storyline. And I know I've changed Charlotte's character from how she really is, but that's just how I imagined she'd be.**

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter and if you have any suggestions-I love reading your reviews! And the name of the story should make sense now.**


	12. Chapter 12

**My anonymity is gone…I tried to keep this story a secret from my friends but one of them has found out. Oh well. I'm expecting you to review every chapter now-you know who you are!**

**Anyway, thanks everyone who reviewed the last chapter. We're in the last few chapters of the story now-there will be about sixteen. **

She should have seen it coming. She should have picked up on it sooner. Hadn't Sandy always thought that Jimmy still had a thing for her? Once again, he'd been right. If only she'd believed Sandy. Then what? Would that have changed the course of things much?

Maybe if she'd have known she could have talked to Jimmy before things had gotten so out of hand. She could have helped him, taken him to a therapist or something. Anything to prevent being where she was now, with no idea of what she might be facing.

This was not the Jimmy she'd met back as a teenager, Kirsten thought, watching him potter around the kitchen preparing dinner. The Jimmy she'd met was smart, kind, gentle and funny. The Jimmy she thought she'd always known was like that, too-not the bitter, pissed off, dangerous and moody person several feet away from her.

Kirsten instinctively rested a hand on her stomach at the thought of Jimmy's mood swings: one minute he'd be acting in a normal manner-like he had been when she'd first arrived, and then, without warning, he'd become alive with fury-like he had been when he was explaining to Kirsten why he had done this. It was awful wondering when Jimmy's mood would shift suddenly. After he'd told her that he'd never let her go, Jimmy had sighed, stood up, flashed Kirsten a smile and then begun cooking dinner, acting as though nothing was wrong. Kirsten didn't know what mood she found more terrifying.

Att least he hadn't tried to hurt the babies, Kirsten consoled herself. There was a definite tiny bump there now, and the further along Kirsten got in her pregnancy, the more attached she felt to the babies. It was Kirsten's biggest fear that something should happen to them if she was hurt during one of Jimmy's mood swings.

A hand resting on her shoulder made Kirsten jump a mile.

"Dinner's ready," Jimmy told her, handing her a plate. "We only have ramen at the moment."

Jimmy joined Kirsten on the couch. She looked down at the food, feeling as though she'd throw up if she ate anything. One of the worst things, Kirsten thought, is that if someone looked through a window now, they'd probably think we were a family.

* * *

"Maybe she's not missing," Ryan suggested in an unconvincing manner.

"Maybe she's just running late from work by three hours and isn't answering her phone," Seth said sarcastically. "Plus, she's being stalked by a guy who was hired by her oldest friend so, you know, that should be working in favor of her safety."

"At least Charlotte came forward," Ryan said. "That will be a big help in trying to find her."

"You do realize that Mom's been abducted by your girlfriend's father, don't you?" Seth thoughtfully informed Ryan.

"This family just keeps on getting weirder," Ryan muttered.

"It's too soon to joke," Seth told him. "Even for a Cohen."

"I wasn't joking," Ryan declared. "I'm gonna try Kirsten again."

Seth stood up and made his way to the fridge to get a drink. A picture on the fridge door stopped Seth from opening it: it was a picture of the family on Chrismukkah, almost two years ago. Ryan had just joined the family and they all looked so happy. Kirsten's smiling face caught Seth's eye, and pain took over his body. Seth stood staring at the picture for a minute, fighting back tears, before opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of Mountain Dew and slamming it shut. Seth turned to avoid seeing the photo, and saw Ryan walking to the doorway.

"Any answer?" Seth asked, already knowing the answer by the look in Ryan's eyes.

"It goes straight to voicemail now," Ryan told Seth.

* * *

"So what are you going to do with me, Jimmy?" Kirsten asked, after forcing down some food, a touch of anger in her voice.

"Actually, I haven't thought that far ahead," Jimmy admitted, conversationally. "I didn't actually think this would happen-I thought Brain would get caught again."

"Brian?" Kirsten asked.

"'Richard'," Jimmy explained. "You didn't think he'd use his real name, did you?"

Kirsten stared down at her barely touched dinner, wishing that Richard-or Brian, had been caught again.

"I just…I don't want to have to hurt you, Kirsten," Jimmy told her seriously.

"Is that a threat?" Kirsten asked in a whisper-did this mean that Jimmy thought he had to hurt her?

"No…oh, I-I don't know," Jimmy stuttered. "I never thought it would wind up like this. I don't want to hurt you-you mean more to me than anything else."

"If I did, then you'd put my happiness above yours," Kirsten told him.

"Life's not always that straightforward," Jimmy admitted.

"And what about your kids?" Kirsten demanded, her anger rising. "What about Julie? Sandy? _My_ kids? You're hurting all of them, too, you know-just like you're hurting me! If I mean more to you than anyone else, then take me home. Let me go, Jimmy!"

"Shut up, Kirsten!" Jimmy yelled, raising a hand to Kirsten's face as she flinched back. Jimmy stared at his hand and the horror in Kirsten's face at what he had almost done, before lowering it and sighing.

"You didn't want to hurt me, huh?" Kirsten whispered.

"Go away," Jimmy muttered, gesturing towards one of the rooms. "The windows here are barred, and I'm gonna lock your door at night. So there's no point in trying to escape… I have to think about what I'm gonna do with you."

Kirsten walked into the room, closing the door behind her. Raising her hand, she groped around the wall for a light switch only to discover there were no working lights in the room. Sliding down on the floor, tears began forming behind Kirsten's eyes. She crawled around until she found a sheet and pillow on the floor. Wrapping herself up inthe sheet and resting her head against the pillow, she repeated a mantra drilled into her by her father; "Tears are for the weak. Never let someone know how much they've affected you." It wasn't so easy for Kirsten to follow that belief. Initially fighting them off, Kirsten soon gave up and let the tears fall freely.

* * *

"Thank you," Charlotte told Sandy. "For talking the cops out of locking me up and letting me stay here."

"You're more help here than you are behind bars," Sandy pointed out brusquely. "I suppose I should be thanking you for coming forward even if it was a bit late, but… Well anyway, the guest bedroom's upstairs, second on the right."

Charlotte nodded and walked upstairs. Sandy glanced at his watch-it was almost midnight. The police sure didn't believe in keeping things short and sweet.

"Dad," Seth said, walking up to Sandy with Ryan. "What happened?"

"Well, they've got someone out looking for her," Sandy told them. "And they've been given a suspect, which gives them a head start."

"So she really is missing?" Ryan asked quietly.

"Looks that way," Sandy said heavily. "You guys should try to get some sleep."

Sandy walked to his bedroom, making his escape before he got choked up in front of the boys. He had to stay strong for them.

Opening his bedroom door, a part of him expected to see Kirsten there. Sleeping, showering, reading-just _there_. Maybe she was just playing a very un-Kirsten-like prank and was waiting for him in their room. Sandy's heart sank as he opened the door to reveal emptiness, the room exactly how it had been left that morning.

Sandy looked around-there was the place where they'd fought this morning, the place where she'd told him she was pregnant months ago, there was the place where he'd given her the new rings and that lunch in bed. The whole room was full of memories, but they just seemed empty and meaningless without her. A dark side of Sandy wondered if she'd ever be there again to make new memories with him, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his mind. He had to stay positive and strong.

Sandy slipped on some pajamas and hopped into bed. He wouldn't be able to sleep, he knew it, but it was worth a shot.

About to turn off the light, Sandy hesitated. He looked over at Kirsten's empty side of the bed and rested his head on her pillow. Breathing in, he could smell the shampoo she used and it was like she was there with him.

Opening his eyes, a glint on the pillow caught his eye. Pushing himself up, he saw a strand of Kirsten's hair before loosing his composure.

* * *

The sound of the door unlocking and opening woke Kirsten-she'd cried for maybe ten minutes before exhaustion took over and she'd fallen asleep. She glanced up at the door and saw Jimmy standing there. Who else would there be? Kirsten thought bitterly.

"I destroyed your cell phone," Jimmy told her casually. "I didn't want to take any chances."

Kirsten sat up and looked at him. Surely he'd come in for more than that.

"So," Jimmy said, letting out a deep breath. "I'm really sorry for this, Kirsten."

"So take me home," Kirsten pleaded with him. "Please."

"I wasn't talking about that," Jimmy told her, giving her a sympathetic glance. "I meant that I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."

Kirsten's mouth went dry and her body numb as her eyes darted all over Jimmy, looking for a gun.

"You're gonna kill me?" Kirsten whispered, not even noticing the tears slipping down her cheeks.

"No," Jimmy told her.

He pulled her up and looked her in the eye.

"Look," Jimmy explained. "It's just you and me now-no Sandy, no Julie, no one else. But…at the moment, it can't be just us, There are two things preventing that, so that's why I have to do this."

Kirsten opened her mouth to ask Jimmy what he was about to do, shaking in terror, but before she had the chance, she cringed as the wind was knocked out of her, Kirsten kneeled over in pain, setting her arms protectively across her stomach, but Jimmy's hands soon pried them apart.

"I'm sorry, Kirsten, but I don't have a choice," Jimmy apologized. He paused for a moment and looked at the anger in her eyes behind the tears. "You're not gonna give up those babies without a fight…I should go get the rope."

**I'm sorry! The story's probably going to get darker and darker right up until the end-but it will get happier then! **

**So please continue reviewing-tell me how much you hate me or whatever, just let me know what you think. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews! This update's been quicker than others because I am procrastinating from study. Who really wants to write an English oral? You only have to stick around for a few more chapters now, so please keep reading and reviewing!**

**I have one thing to say to everyone about the following chapter: I'm sorry… **

There was no way she could sleep after that. Memories flashed through Kirsten's mind like a song on repeat: running after Jimmy, begging him not to, Jimmy getting the rope, trying to take it from him, trying to fight him-but she was just too weak compared to him, and then… Kirsten's mind blanked out the rest. She didn't want to know; didn't want to remember.

Tears did not seem to want to form and she felt numb. Instead, Kirsten continued staring out the barred window in front of her like she had been doing since Jimmy had tied her wrists and ankles with the rope. She was fairly certain that her arms and legs, although no longer tied up, were in the same place.

A stab of pain attacked her, and she curled up into a ball, hugging her knees tightly to her to try and block it out. It was the only sign that she could still feel.

At last, actual feelings and thoughts (other than what had just happened) penetrated Kirsten's mind. Inconsolable grief welled up inside: there was no way the babies could have survived that. Jimmy had made certain of it.

Underneath it all was an overwhelming sense of guilt. If only she'd listened to Sandy and stayed home; then she wouldn't be here. Her babies-_their­_ babies- would never get a chance to live now and it was all her fault. In a way, Kirsten decided staying here might be preferable to having to tell Sandy that she'd lost the babies because of her stupid stubbornness and need for independence.

For once in her life, Kirsten did not try to tell herself to be strong as she was attacked by a crippling cramp and tears welled in her eyes. She didn't attempt to be strong, didn't try to resist the tears-for the first time she could remember, Kirsten cried without any guilt or shame until she had no energy left to spare and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

There was no way he could sleep that night. Sandy looked around in vain, half-expecting Kirsten to come in any minute. He was always greeted with a Kirsten-less space.

4:13am. The cops had told Sandy that he would be the first to know if there were any developments. They'd been on the case for over four hours now, they had a suspect-were they that incompetent that it took them hours to make any progress?

As his frustration grew rapidly, Sandy hopped out of bed to try to do something to curb it. The chances of him sleeping now were close to none, and there was only one way that he'd be able to get through the day: coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

Sandy walked to the end of the bed and picked up his robe. His eyes couldn't help but hover over where Kirsten kept hers. The one second that he stared at it for was enough to reinforce just how much Sandy loved her. He would give absolutely anything to just have her back in one piece.

Walking towards the kitchen, Sandy paused as he saw a dull light coming from that area. Sandy approached it and was also met with a quiet noise. Turning the corner, Sandy saw Seth sprawled out on the couch, asleep, with the menu of House of Flying Daggersfilling up the TV screen.

Looking at Seth, Sandy couldn't help but give a small, sad smile: he'd inherited Kirsten's snoring and habit of sleeping with an open mouth.

Turning off the TV, Sandy walked to the kitchen and quietly begun preparing some coffee. Sandy had always considered Kirsten and the boys to be the best things that had ever happened to him and had always vowed to do everything in his power to protect them. He felt as though he had failed Kirsten but he refused to fail the boys. Sandy was going to remain strong for them; he'd keep hoping and stay positive.

The taste of coffee brought comfort to Sandy and the strength to keep him going for a few more hours. He started making his way back to the room but stopped as a shadow on the stairs caught his eye. Looking up, his heart couldn't help but sink as he saw Charlotte-every shadow he hoped was Kirsten. Pushing his anger down towards Charlotte, Sandy fought his pride and made conversation.

"Can't sleep?" Sandy asked, knowing the answer from the dark circles engraved underneath her eyes.

Charlotte shook her head and walked down to Sandy.

"I tried," Charlotte attested. "I slept for about and hour, maybe, but… You?"

"Haven't slept at all," Sandy said. He was about to turn around and head back to his room when he looked Charlotte in the eye. Her eyes were bright red and filled with fear and confusion, and Sandy couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for her.

"I'll be right back," Sandy promised, heading back to the kitchen.

As much as Sandy carried anger and resentment towards Charlotte, there was also pity and gratefulness. It had been wrong of Charlotte to accept Jimmy's offer but Sandy could understand the temptation-he did remember what it was like to be in need of money, Sandy admitted, making some coffee for Charlotte.

It was stupid of Charlotte to accept a bribe when she didn't know the other person's motive, but the most important thing was that she had come forward. Jimmy would have found a way to take Kirsten either way, and it was just luck that Jimmy picked someone to bribe who carried a bit of a conscience.

"Here you go," Sandy told Charlotte, sitting next to her on the stairs and handing her the cup he'd just made. "I thought you could use it."

"Thanks," Charlotte said gratefully.

"Charlotte, who are you scared for?" Sandy asked gently. "Kirsten or yourself?"

"Both of us," Charlotte admitted. "I'm scared that Jimmy will want revenge and, I don't know, come after me. But I am really worried about Kirsten. She's and great person, and the more I got to know her the more I liked her. And that's no lie."

"I know," Sandy said, believing Charlotte more as time went on.

"I just want her to be okay," Charlotte stated.

"Me too," Sandy sighed. "Thank you. You know, for coming here and telling the police and me."

"You're not pissed off at me?" Charlotte asked in confusion.

"Of course I am," Sandy told her. "I'm pissed off that you accepted Jimmy's bribe-but I do know what it's like to struggle financially. I'm pissed off that you took so long to come forward but I am so grateful that you did. What you've done could save Kirsten's life and see justice done to Jimmy. So I'm pissed off at you, but I'm also very grateful."

Charlotte gave Sandy a small smile before sipping her coffee. They sat in silence for several moments.

"You know," Charlotte begun, "Kirsten really loves you. And she told me that she had never stopped loving you. You saved her from loosing her life to Newport, she said. Kirsten never shut up about you in rehab."

"Thank you," Sandy said quietly after a pause, the words meaning more to him than Charlotte could have known before they reverted back to silence.

Sandy almost hated to admit to enjoying Charlotte's company. It was good having someone to suffer with and someone to talk to about Kirsten. Charlotte was there with her every day in rehab, a part of Kirsten's life Sandy didn't know back to front. Looking at Charlotte, Sandy was surprised to see a smile-albeit a sad one-on her face.

"What?" Sandy asked.

"I was just remembering when Kirsten came to my house," Charlotte recounted. "She turned dead white when she saw a spider on my wall and you should have seen the look on her face when I told her she should name it."

"You don't know how many times I've had to drop what I've been doing to save her from a spider," Sandy declared, almost smiling. "One time in college, she actually called me up in the middle of the night to come across to her dorm to get rid of a spider because her roommate was out. She just can't face them."

Sandy and Charlotte continued to reminisce about Kirsten until daylight begun to creep through the windows and Seth stumbled blearily to his father, clutching his coffee like a security blanket.

"Any news?" Seth asked.

The sound of Seth's voice brought Sandy and Charlotte back to reality, the answer to Seth's question wiping the smiles off both of their faces.

"No," Sandy said.

* * *

Kirsten woke early in the morning to persistent, duller cramps, bringing her crashing back to reality. What she really needed-apart from going home-was to go to a hospital to get checked over. She didn't have much of a chance of getting Jimmy to take her there, so she didn't have much of a chance of getting to a hospital full stop.

Jimmy. The name brought feelings of intense hate and anger. Kirsten had moved past crying; now her sadness had turned into fury. She had never hated anyone before in her life, but Kirsten could say with certainty that she hated Jimmy. The fact that he had been her first love, kiss-her _first_ made her feel sick. Knowing that she had to see him and be under the same roof as him made living with spiders seem highly preferable.

Had Jimmy always been so selfish? Jimmy taking Kirsten proved to her that he hadn't thought of how anyone but him would feel and react. Had he been this selfish all along, but Kirsten just hadn't seen it?

Kirsten shut her eyes quickly as she heard her door being unlocked and opened. If she ever had to see Jimmy again, it would be far too soon, Kirsten decided, fighting the urge to flinch as she heard his footsteps stop next to her.

"Kirsten," Jimmy said softly, crouching down. "I know you're awake. I saw you frown when I came into the room."

This was surprisingly similar to what she had done every morning as a child to avoid having to go to elementary school. She'd simply close her eyes and pretend to be asleep, hoping her mom would fall for it and let her get the day off school. It had changed completely once she'd gotten to middle school and realized that her family was a little screwed up-she couldn't wait to leave the house for school, then.

"Kirsten, open your eyes," Jimmy demanded, in a louder voice.

The method was still just as ineffective as it had been back then, Kirsten thought bitterly, reluctantly opening her eyes.

Looking at Jimmy, the anger left her and was replaced with fear. Looking at him brought back memories of the night before, and the thought of what he'd do next filled her with terror.

"So, have you come to rape me?" Kirsten asked quietly. "Kill me?"

"I'm not gonna rape you," Jimmy told her. "I'm not going to be with you unless I have your consent."

"What do you mean?" Kirsten asked, puzzled.

"I love you and I want to be with you," Jimmy declared. "But we're not getting back together unless it's your choice. So, you have two options."

"What are they?" Kirsten asked, deciding there must be a catch.

"Well, your first option is to be with me," Jimmy begun. "I've got a friend who can get us fake ID's, so we change our appearance a little, buy you some clothes and fly out to Australia where we'll start a new life. You won't get to contact the Cohens but we'll have each other. Maybe we'll even have a kid."

"And the second option?"

"The second option is that if I can't have you, no one can. You're the only woman I've really loved and it's killed me seeing you with someone else all this time. If you choose not to be with me, then put simply: you'll die. I couldn't bear to shoot you or anything like that, so I would kiss you goodbye, close the door and you'd die of starvation and dehydration. I don't want to know you're with someone other than me if you are living."

Kirsten's body began to shake and she almost didn't notice it when Jimmy leaned over and kissed her.

"That's to show you what you could have," Jimmy told her, standing up and heading for the door. "You've got five minutes to decide."

Kirsten's shaking increased and her mouth went dry as she realized what she had to do. She could hear the words echoing in her mind but she couldn't seem to bring herself to say them-if she did anything other than this, she'd never forgive herself.

"Wait," Kirsten called out in a shaking voice, a tear slipping down her cheek as she managed to spit out her decision to Jimmy. "I don't need five minutes. If I can't be with Sandy and my boys…I can't be with anyone."

Jimmy nodded. Walking over to Kirsten, he kissed the top of her head before walking back to the door.

"Goodbye, Kirsten," Jimmy whispered.

Kirsten's mouth dropped open and tears streamed down her face as she watched the door close and lock in front of her.

**It will have a happy ending-just hang in there for three more chapters!**

**So, go on-review and tell me how much you hate me… **


	14. Chapter 14

**I really should be studying for a medieval and biology test but I don't think my brain can handle anymore information. Will we ever need to know who brought firearms into medieval India? I think not.**

**Anyway, thank you for all of your reviews! I'm kind of sad to be coming towards the end of this story because I've really, really enjoyed writing it… Just so you all know: the idea was that Kirsten did loose the babies and in my imagination, Jimmy just bashed her up. I made that a bit obscure-sorry!**

Kirsten lay on the floor late that evening, tightly hugging the pillow to her stomach to drown out its rumblings. It was like she was falling into a never-ending pit, screaming and screaming as she fell deeper, but no one could hear her. She didn't know how much longer she'd last either; she seemed to be growing weaker and weaker from dehydration. She had to lie down to avoid feeling dizzy and lightheaded now.

Kirsten's eyes flickered over to the barred window, thinking in vain of escape. There was no way she could remove those bars. Jimmy would hear her, and besides, she had the weakest hands ever. How many times had she had to get Sandy to open a jar or bottle for her?

"This is your last chance, Kirsten," Jimmy recited his hourly speech from the other side of the door. "If you don't change your mind now, I won't give you the choice again. I mean it."

Kirsten frowned, squeezing her eyes shut. As tempting as survival and water were, she could not allow herself to live a lie. She did not want to wake up every morning wondering what Sandy and the boys were doing. She'd prefer to die than live without them.

Maybe she deserved to die, Kirsten concluded. Maybe this was her punishment for shutting out Sandy and not believing him entirely about Rebecca. And maybe this was her payback for Carter, putting her family through suffering with her alcoholism, for going back to Charlotte's, for ever trusting Jimmy, for not listening to Sandy when he advised her not to go to work and for loosing the babies. If-no; _when_ she died, at least she wouldn't be able to hurt the people she loved most anymore.

So why did the thought of death terrify her? If this was what she deserved, what she reasoned to be the right thing, why did she want nothing more than to survive?

Each second was like a sand through an hourglass. Time was running out and if Kirsten remembered correctly, she'd only last another day or two without fluid. She'd probably pass out from the dehydration before then. Kirsten realized with a shudder than in twelve hours time, she most likely would have lost consciousness.

It was an unusual predicament to be in, and not one that was frequently thought about: what would you do if you only had a couple of days left to live? More to the point, what _could_ she do? The room was empty save the blanket and pillow. It had to be a form of torture. The only thing left for Kirsten to do was lie in the darkness, wondering how many grains of sand were left in the hourglass.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Mr Cohen, it was a false lead."

The words still reverberated in Sandy's head hours after they were spoken, as he lay in bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

Sandy had felt more than a glimmer of hope when he'd received a phone call that afternoon.

"We think we've found someone who's working with Mr Cooper," Sandy had been told. "It's being investigated now. Hopefully, if we can get him talking, he can tell us where your wife is."

This lead proved to be a big flop, shaking Sandy's delicate hope and strength.

"I'm sorry Mr Cohen; it was a false lead. We've checked absolutely everything but this man has not been in contact with Mr Cooper since he lost a large sum of money to him two years ago."

He was stupid for allowing himself to get hopeful, Sandy scolded, his eyes transfixed on a spot on the ceiling. He was stupid for getting caught up in the moment, for allowing his excitement to get the better of him and telling the boys. The looks on their faces when he told them it was a false lead broke his heart further.

How much longer would it take? Sandy could see the boys struggling to remain brave and strong throughout it all, and his act that everything would be alright was growing less convincing by the minute.

Charlotte was still hovering around the house, still tip-toeing around in shock and fear. She had well mastered the art of avoiding Seth and Ryan today, scared off by their incessant glares.

Sandy insisted on Charlotte continuing to stay with them to keep an eye on her (just because he felt some pity towards her and believed her story did not mean that she was trusted) and also because she provided him with some entertainment. It was cruel, he knew, but watching Charlotte backing away so comically with a glare from the boys and trying her hardest to avoid them were the only things truly distracting Sandy for several seconds.

His mind returning to Kirsten, Sandy's eyes drifted towards the phone. In a way, he was desperate to get news from the cops but on the other hand, he was worried that it would be another false lead or, even worse, information he didn't want to hear.

"Dad?" came Seth's voice from the other side of the door.

"Seth-come in," Sandy called, grateful for the distraction.

"Is it alright if we talk out here?" Seth suggested.

"Are you okay?" Sandy asked, closing the bedroom door behind him. "You're up pretty late-it's close to two."

Seth shrugged and sat down on the floor. "I'm not really in the right mood for sleeping," Seth explained.

"I don't think any of us are," Sandy admitted, joining Seth on the floor. "How's Ryan dealing with things? Has he said anything to you?"

Seth shook his head. "He seems to be sleeping a lot," Seth stated. "It must be an Atwood coping mechanism."

"Definitely not a Cohen one," Sandy declared.

Seth nodded, staring down at his knees, and Sandy saw the remnants of the boy he'd once been. Seth's eyes were wide and fearful, and he looked like he needed to be taken care of; to be told that everything would be fine.

"Do you think Mom's okay?" Seth asked quietly.

Sandy paused. It was a question he hated but found himself constantly thinking. If Kirsten wasn't dead, Sandy thought with a shudder, what might Jimmy be doing to her? That thought was almost as haunting as the thought of her dead.

"Dad?" Seth asked.

"I don't know," Sandy answered truthfully. "I hope so, but there's no way of us knowing."

"But you guys are so strong-wouldn't you know if she was…not okay?" Seth persisted.

"There's no way of knowing for certain," Sandy replied. Although his gut instinct was that Kirsten was still alive, he also felt as though if she wasn't found soon, she might not be.

"Should we call Hailey?" Seth suggested.

Sandy nodded, the idea just dawning on him.

"You really should try to get some sleep," Sandy told him.

"Probably," Seth agreed, getting up. "You'll come tell me if you hear anything, won't you?"

"Of course," Sandy promised. "Goodnight."

Sandy sighed and got up, heading to the phone in his bedroom. It was probably a convenient time to call Hailey, too, Sandy realized, picking up the phone.

Now he just had to find a way to tell Hailey that her ex had abducted her sister, who he still seemed to be in love with. Dialing the number, Sandy shook his head. This family just kept on getting weirder.

* * *

Kirsten awoke groggily the next morning. Her back was stiff from lying on the floor for so long and she couldn't summon the energy to open her eyes. It looked like Jimmy was going to go through with it, Kirsten admitted to herself, trying unsuccessfully to stop a stray tear from falling.

She knew it was crazy, but there was a part of her that truly believed this wouldn't happen. There was a part of her that believed that the Jimmy she thought she knew would reveal himself and take her out of here back to her family. A part of Kirsten thought that she'd be able to hold on for longer-maybe help would even arrive. All of these beliefs had now been abolished as she struggled to string her thoughts together and remain awake.

It was useless. The end was getting closer, and there was nothing Kirsten could do about it. No help was coming.

* * *

Sandy sat down to lunch, practically sculling his cup of coffee. It was the only thing keeping him going. As much as he needed sleep, he just couldn't allow himself to. He was worried he'd fall asleep and then miss an important phone call, which was why he was convinced he could hear the phone ringing whenever he shut his eyes.

It was terrible. Sandy was sleep deprived and worried, and expected to hold everything together. He just didn't know if he could do it anymore. One of his sons spent pretty much the whole time sleeping and communicating as little as possible with everyone, while the other spent the entire time keeping tabs on a frightened Charlotte and coming up with theories on how to extract the truth-which Seth was sure she was hiding-from her.

They were out of control, all three of them. Sandy and Seth looked like vampires while Ryan was hardly visible with the amount of light he allowed into the poolhouse.

Sandy rest his head in his arms and closed his eyes. Just for a minute, he told himself. But, sure enough, Sandy's mind was filled with the imaginary sound of the phone ringing as soon as his eyes fluttered shut.

How was he supposed to live like this? Sandy felt like screaming in frustration as he gave in to his paranoia, prizing his eyes open. His heart skipped a beat as the ringing continued several seconds after he'd opened his eyes.

Could it be? Sandy felt fear and hope flood him as he raced for the phone, in a hurry to answer it.

"Hello?" Sandy answered anxiously.

* * *

She was slipping in and out of consciousness. If this is dying, it's not as bad as they make it out to be, Kirsten thought groggily.

Footsteps were approaching her…or were they walking away? She couldn't tell the difference.

"I'm joining you, Kirsten," came Jimmy's voice from what sounded like miles away. "But first, I have to finish my job."

My job…Kirsten thought, a warmth rushing over her as she remembered long, lazy days in Berkeley spent painting, with Sandy by her side working on an assignment.

"_What do you think?" Kirsten would ask coyly whenever Sandy saw her work._

"_Definitely one for the gallery," Sandy would tell her every time, placing a kiss on her head. "You really should make this your job."_

Then her job had shifted to being a wife and mother-her favorite jobs of all-before trying to be the perfect daughter on top of that.

"If you believe in life after death, I guess you'll be seeing me and Sandy soon," Jimmy's voice was distorted now, but she could still make out his words. "Any last words for me or him?"

"_Do you believe in life after death?" a seventeen-year-old Jimmy had asked her._

_Kirsten nodded. "At one point, something must of come from nothing-how could that happen without some 'superior being'?" Kirsten explained innocently. "I just don't agree with the austerity in religion."_

"_So then we'll always be together," Jimmy told her seriously._

_Kirsten shifted uncomfortably under Jimmy's intensity. She wasn't sure if she wanted to always be together with him…_

It felt like there wasn't anything around her now. She could feel herself growing blissfully carefree.

"I see," Jimmy continued. "So I can tell him you chose to die over being with me but couldn't even come up with any last words for him."

_Kirsten was racked with nerves, excitement and terror. What if he didn't show up? What if he backed out at the last minute? Her self control disappeared and she grabbed the phone._

"_Hello?" answered a familiar voice._

"_Are you sure?" Kirsten blurted out. "Are you really, really sure? You won't change your mind?"_

"_Nothing could make me change my mind," Sandy assured her._

_A smile spread over Kirsten's face and relief rushed through her._

"_Any last words as a free man, then?" Kirsten asked._

"_I love you Kirsten Nichol," Sandy told her. "But I think I'm going to love Kirsten Cohen even more."_

And with that thought, a smile spread softly on Kirsten's face before she allowed the blissful carefreeness to take over.

* * *

"Mr Cohen, we have another lead," came a voice from the other end of the phone. "And this time it looks much more hopeful. We have reason to believe we have located the whereabouts of your wife and Mr James Cooper."

**Two chapters left! The next two are relatively short. **

**Please keep reading and reviewing-and thanks to everyone who has reviewed!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Second last chapter now… Thanks for all of your reviews-please keep them coming, I love reading them! **

**I'm seriously at a loss as to what story I should write next. I just can't think up any plots. So it will probably be awhile before I publish another story after I finish this one.**

Jimmy slowly backed away from Kirsten's door. This wasn't right; Kirsten would've responded to a chance to pass a message on to Sandy and she definitely would have reacted to Jimmy telling her he was on the way to kill her husband and then himself. Could it be? Could she be…dead?

This wasn't meant to happen this way. Kirsten was supposed to be alive and conscious when he told her that news. Then he was supposed to shoot out of the house, kill Sandy and then himself without witnessing Kirsten's death.

Jimmy shook his head in shock and turned around, barely noticing the sound of several cars pulling up in front of the house. He had to get himself out of there and over to Sandy's. Being in the same house as someone who was either dead, or unconscious and dying freaked him out.

Grabbing the loaded gun from the kitchen table, Jimmy hastily put it in his jacket and opened the front door.

What greeted him as he opened the door was not what he expected: several cars were parked outside with cops tumbling out of them. This _really_ wasn't supposed to happen, Jimmy thought as the police advanced on him, holding out their guns.

Without thinking, Jimmy brandished his own weapon.

* * *

"Where's…Sandy?" Charlotte asked uncertainly, walking into the living room where the boys were sitting.

"Out," Seth answered, clutching the phone and willing it to ring with good news. "Shoe shopping."

"Shoe shopping?" Charlotte repeated, puzzled, followed by an intense stare from Seth.

"I think you know where he is," Seth accused. "If he's not shoe shopping, then tell me; where is he?"

"Uh…"Charlotte stuttered, backing out of the room before she had to face another Spanish inquisition.

Charlotte shook her head. Seth was growing weirder and weirder. How did someone as normal as Kirsten have such an abnormal child?

Seth glanced at Ryan, who was giving him a puzzled look, and gave a sigh.

"She knows where Mom is, Ryan," Seth explained. "And I am going to get it out of her."

"I don't think she does," Ryan told him. "And besides; the police might know where she is now anyway."

"You know, that's the most I've heard you talk in the past few days," Seth realized.

* * *

Sandy watched from the car as the police advanced on the house. He leaned forwards eagerly as the door swung open, hoping it might be Kirsten, but reeled back in anger and hated as he saw Jimmy instead. He had never felt so pissed off before in his life-he was virtually unaware of his actions as he jumped out of the car, dismissing a call of, "Sandy-stop!" from the officer in the car with him.

Looking up, Sandy stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Jimmy pull out a gun. A _gun_, Sandy realized in shock. Looking at Jimmy's face, the shock was quickly replaced with that familiar pissed off feeling.

"What the hell has he done with her?" Sandy asked the officer who had appeared beside him.

The officer reached for Sandy's arm, in an attempt to pull him back and restrain him, but Sandy angrily pulled out of their hold as he yelled out, "What the fuck have you done with my wife?"

Sandy watched as Jimmy looked over at him, his insides turning cold with hate. This man-this _creature_ had harmed his wife, the woman he loved-he was sure of it from the gleeful look in Jimmy's eyes.

"This will be easier than I thought," Sandy heard Jimmy say.

"Where is she? Where the hell is Kirsten, you bastard?" Sandy yelled as an officer near Jimmy commanded, "Drop your weapon Mr Cooper-you're surrounded."

"Mr Cohen, please," a voice from behind him said firmly, grabbing his arm.

"You might be too late," Jimmy smirked. "But you're not too late for me to finish the job."

Sandy watched in horror as Jimmy raised his gun, barely resisting the officer's order to get down on the ground. He couldn't help but look up, to see what was happening, and as Sandy looked up, his mouth dropped open in shock as he watched Jimmy turn the gun on himself.

"I'll be with Kirsten now," Jimmy stated. "But you won't."

With those final words, Sandy heard a gunshot and saw Jimmy fall to the ground.

Sandy felt monumental shock for several seconds, until Jimmy's last words echoed in his mind; "I'll be with Kirsten now."

"Kirsten!" Sandy yelled at the top of his lungs, scrambling up and determined to find a way in past the cops and paramedics invading the house and the paramedics surrounding Jimmy's body.

Sandy was instantly restrained again by the same officer.

"Let me go!" Sandy ordered angrily. "My wife is in there!"

"We need to ensure the premises issafe before we can allow anyone in," he was told. "You'll have to wait out here."

"Didn't you hear me?" Sandy asked, struggling to break free of the officer's grasp. "I told you my wife's in there!"

"Mr Cohen…," the officer trailed off, thinking it might be insensitive to remind him that Jimmy had practically confirmed Kirsten's death.

A loud bang issued from the house, allowing Sandy to break free and run inside, ignoring the officer's footsteps behind him and the repeated cry of, "Mr Cohen!"

Upon entering the house, Sandy could see straight away where the sound had come from. A door had been broken down, the area now swarming with paramedics. Racing up, Sandy's heart flipped as he saw that familiar blonde hair and that familiar petite body lying on a stretcher and being checked for a pulse.

"Kirsten!" Sandy cried, crouching door beside her. "Is she okay?"

"Mr Cohen, please move," a paramedic told him, lifting up the stretcher and heading for the door. "She has a weak pulse and she's breathing, but it's quite shallow."

Sandy hurried up to them. Kirsten's eyes were closed and her facer whiter than he had ever seen it. Glancing back, Sandy saw a pool of blood on the floor of the room she had been in.

"She's lost blood," Sandy frantically told the paramedics. "A lot of it. Has she been shot? Will she be okay? Please-she's pregnant."

Sandy saw the paramedics exchange a glance on that last comment and his eyes grew wide with shock as he realized that theblood wasn't from a gun wound.

"No," Sandy said firmly, shaking his head.

The paramedics ushered Kirsten's stretcher into the ambulance, tearing away before Sandy had a chance to catch up with them.

"Come on," came a voice from behind him, a hand resting on his arm. "We'll take you to the hospital."

**Thinking about the last chapter of this story, it sort of doesn't tie things up enough. So, I am going to give you the choice of what I will do. Will I leave the next chapter the way that it is, or will I make the story longer and tie up more things in a neater way than I have? Review and let me know!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, I have decided to finish up this story here but I'm going to write a new one that's a continuation of this one, filling in the blanks I leave at the end.**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed, and here's the final chapter…**

The phone and doorbell rang simultaneously. Knowing it would be Hailey at the door Ryan gestured to take the phone, but Seth held onto it adamantly. Ryan reluctantly got up to answer the door, anxious as to what sort of news Seth might be getting.

"Hey," Ryan muttered opening the door, as Hailey attempted to put on a brave face.

"Any news?" Hailey asked, walking into the house setting her bag down. After getting Sandy's phone call yesterday, she had packed her bags and booked the first flight available.

"We got a call this morning saying that they thought they'd tracked down Jimmy's address," Ryan begun. "A couple of people saw someone fitting his description walk into the house in the past few days and someone identified two people who matched Kirsten and Richard's descriptions walking in the day she went…you know-missing."

"So Sandy's gone to check that out?" Hailey asked.

Ryan nodded as she sank onto the couch, holding her head in her hands.

"God…Jimmy Cooper," Hailey muttered quietly. "I don't believe it."

It was the same speech Ryan had gone through in his head a million times. He hadn't spoken to Marissa-or pretty much anyone-since Kirsten had gone missing. He knew it would cause complications in his relationship with Marissa, but the question plaguing him was whether or not they'd be able to have any relationship now.

Seth walked in, interrupting Hailey and Ryan's daydreams, Ryan looking up expectantly.

"They found Mom," Seth declared. "That was Dad. He's on the way to the hospital."

"Well, how is she?" Hailey asked impatiently, jumping up, answered by a shrug from Seth.

"He said she was alive, so that's a start," Seth informed her. On the inside, Seth was torn between fear and hope, and relief: hope and relief because his mom had been found alive, but fear because he didn't know how critical her condition was.

"What did he say about Charlotte?" Ryan asked, his eyes looking somewhat more alive knowing Kirsten had been found and wasn't dead.

"To take her along to the hospital," Seth said. "He needs to talk to her. You guys go to the car, but can you save a spot next to me for Charlotte? I haven't finished questioning her yet."

* * *

Sandy's head lay on the hospital bed, his hand holding Kirsten's securely. Sandy shut his eyes, his mind no longer filled with the sound of the phone ringing, but reassuring thoughts that Kirsten was safe; she was alive and she'd be okay. His mood was dampened by the loss of the babies but he was the happiest he'd been in days.

If Kirsten had been found any later, Sandy had been told, she wouldn't have been so lucky. She might not even be alive. The doctors had told Sandy she'd suffered excessive blood loss from the miscarriage-more than was normal-and this coupled with her dehydration had made her more vulnerable. Kirsten had had to have an operation as the miscarriage had been complicated and she was currently hooked up to a blood transfusion and adrip. Her breathing was still somewhat shallow, so she had been put on a low dose of oxygen and was being monitored, but despite all this Sandy had been assured she should be home in a few days.

Because of her operation and physical state, the doctors had said not to expect Kirsten to awake before morning. Sandy had ushered Hailey and the boys back home, seeing no point in them hanging around, and had sent Charlotte on a plane back to Canada. Charlotte was probably not the best person to have around when Kirsten woke up.

Sandy, however, refused to leave Kirsten's side. Pushing back her hair, he gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead as she slept peacefully. He had to know she was there, that he was okay.

Kirsten was probably far from okay, though, Sandy admitted to himself, tightening his grip on her hand. Of course, he didn't know the details of what she had been through but he was pretty sure it would have been horrific. Sandy had a feeling therapy would be needed, but he was determined to make sure she got through this and got her life back on track.

A door in the distance slammed shut, causing Sandy to jump, remembering the shot Jimmy had fired just hours ago that had taken his own life. It wasn't a memory that would escape him anytime soon-nor was the memory of seeing Kirsten hurried out of the house on a stretcher.

As he heard the monitor beeping, confirming Kirsten was alive, he gently draped his arm over her. He would put up with anything-_anything_-just to have her here. His mouth curled up in a smile as he heard a soft snore escape from her, and it was then he realized that Kirsten wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

Kirsten could swear she'd felt someone jump and slide an arm across her. Jimmy, she guessed, dreading to think of what would happen next.

Drowsy was the only way to describe how she felt. She was too tired to open her eyes and far too tired to fight the arm across her. She went back to sleep, soothed by the rhythmic beeping coming from somewhere.

* * *

Something soft was underneath her. Much softer than the floor, Kirsten thought, shifting contently. What had happened? Kirsten wondered, confused. The last thing she remembered was feeling like she would pass out.

The next thing Kirsten noticed to be out of place was the arm across her. Continuing to keep her eyes shut, she delicately placed a hand on the arm, praying fervently it wasn't Jimmy's.

It certainly didn't feel like Jimmy's, Kirsten thought. Her heart filled with hope as she prized her eyes open, knowing only one person whose body she knew so well.

"Sandy?" Kirsten asked quietly, afraid it was a hallucination. Her voice was croaky, and speaking was somewhat painful-from the dehydration, she guessed.

Kirsten looked across; his head was face down on the bed, but she could tell without a doubt that it was Sandy.

"Sandy?" Kirsten repeated, resting a hand on his shoulder and giving him a nudge, pausing briefly to inspect the drip in her wrist.

Sandy woke up almost instantly. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a familiar voice calling out his name. He looked at Kirsten, so grateful to have her there that he wanted to hold her tight and never let her go. Fear of hurting her stopped him from doing this, so instead he settled for holding her hand and giving her a kiss.

"I was so worried I'd never see you again," Kirsten whispered tearfully, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you so much."

"Oh, me too honey," Sandy murmured. "But don't you worry now-it's all over. I love you."

"Sandy…," Kirsten trailed off, looking pleadingly in his eyes. Maybe there was a chance, a slight chance, that both-or even one of-the babies had survived.

Sandy's words caught in his throat, and he watched her face crumple as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Sandy, I'm so sorry," Kirsten cried. "If only-"

"Sh, don't talk like that," Sandy told Kirsten, taking her in his arms. "None of this was your fault, okay?"

Kirsten shook her head helplessly, racked with guilt. If only she'd altered a few things, perhaps it would have all turned out differently.

"The doctor said there's nothing stopping us from having another baby," Sandy told her, hoping it would be of some consolation.

As Kirsten remained in his arms crying, Sandy allowed a tear to fall for the two lives that were lost, and the life that was soimportant to him that had very nearly beenlost.

**Eight months later…**

"That was a kick," Sandy protested, resting a hand on Kirsten's stomach. "That was definitely a kick."

Kirsten smiled. Sandy had been claiming that for the last couple of months falsely, but today he was right.

"It was," Kirsten confirmed, as the baby kicked yet again.

"She kicked again!" Sandy exclaimed. "Six months of nothing and now she finally starts communicating with me."

Kirsten snuggled into Sandy, placing her hand on top of his that was still resting on her stomach. It was moments like these that convinced Kirsten life was perfect. They convinced her that the months of therapy had worked, that she was truly getting over what had happened and that she and Sandy together had brought life back under control.

Sandy prodded her stomach in an attempt to get the baby to kick again and Kirsten rolled her eyes as their daughter kicked back on queue. She was caught in the middle and a punching bag but it was worth it. Everything was worth being where she was today.

**That's the end! The new story will deal with that eight-month gap, so it will probably be dark to begin with but then get lighter and lighter. **

**A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed my first fanfic-THANK YOU! And please let me know what you thought of this chapter and if there are any improvements I can make in my next story.**

**The new story probably won't be up for awhile because I haven't started it or really planned it yet. And let me know if you think I shouldn't write a carry-on story, I don't want to write something people will not read and get bored of. I don't want to overdo this story.**


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